People need to relax and get a sense of humor, really they do!  I’m not going to stop being me just because one person doesn’t get it.  I get them; maybe they should return the favor.

People like to say “I’m a nervous wreck”, I don’t know about that, I went too many wrecks in my ambulance days and I don’t recall any of them being nervous.

Went on a recent camping trip with my kids youth group. One of the parents wanted to know if the cabin we were staying in had running water. I said sure, hand your child some water bottles and tell them to run in circles, walla, running water. We were lucky there was heat. Last year when we arrived at this camp, only 1 of the 2 heaters were working in the cabin and the only wood for the stoves was very green, with 2 feet of snow on the ground and darkness covering any other source. When we woke up the next morning it was -1 outside and 28 degrees in the cabin. Our kids were prepared for this, but that’s cold. Of course that night we had our fires blazing and had to open windows. This trip I brought firewood, fool me once.

Had a boss once that wanted us to tell them when the office equipment broke down. But they were such a sarcastic dick that no one wanted to approach them about anything. So we’d rather leave the equipment broken then tell them, made life easier, but pissed them off, which was ok by us.

I’m not really here today, I’m somewhere else, and I just don’t know where it is. I feel something that I can’t explain. It’s a strange sensation, like something might have happen, but not. Very confusing.

Post #200

You know playing the lottery is like praying to God, the answer is often no.

I’ve always wanted to put together a kit that would allow me to drop everything with no prep and go camping. I have recently been able to assemble this and now store it in my car. I have everything I need food, water and shelter with many basic amenities, even have the ability to generate small amounts of power to recharge items. If I restrict my food intact to 2 meals a day (1000 calories, I can afford to lose some weight), I’m good for a week, less if I’m a pig and don’t control myself. Plus I have the means to gather other meals and purify water. I’ve even included a roll of toilet paper, because with my luck, I’d pick a poison ivy leaf to wipe my butt with (never could tell the difference) and I want no regrets in my end. So now I’m prepared, all I need is an excuse to use it. But boy, that bag is heavy.

My mother in law use to say my real name was Kurt, since she believed I was very Kurt on the phone. OK, so I get to the point, I spend a lot of time talking to people on the phone and my philosophy has always been like the old TV show, “Just the facts ma’am”. I don’t want the fluff, just the substance of the issue.

I inadvertently hit the button to buy the insurance, but I don’t want it. Stupid brain! Always getting me into trouble! Yes we’ll refund the money, but please control your clicking finger in the future; those icons don’t click themselves you know.

Had a claimant call from a hilltop while they were watching a river flood over its bank and slowly swallow up their home. They figured they’d start the claim now, since there was nothing else they could do at that moment, but feel utterly helpless.

 

I’d rather have someone tell me what to think, than think for myself. But then it occurs to me that maybe I should think for myself and don’t let other people do it for me. My philosophy for life is just a tad mixed up.

What’s your call back number just in case I decide to hang up on you?

One day after a rather severe thunder storm I came across a crow that had been beaten up by it and was too weak to fly. I also noticed a cat coming in for an easy meal. So I captured the crow and housed them in our pigeon coup. Now I know what pigeons eat, but had no clue as to what a crow might like. Being the internet wasn’t invented yet; I waited to go to school the next day and looked it up in an actual book (how quint). One of the things I noted was they liked eggs. So when my parents weren’t looking I acquired a couple from the fridge and feed them to the crow. Why might this be important? The crow ate them; eggs shell and all and it just astonished me. It had never occurred to me that anything would eat egg shells, ok I was naive.

A couple of days later I released the crow and my stint in wild life rehab was over. When I was releasing the crow it grabbed one of my fingers and didn’t seem too interested in letting go until it realized it was free.

A person calls in and has a legitimate claim for a refund but is too lazy to fill out the claim form. So they state we are selling a scam and they are never going to buy our insurance again. A scam? I just told you that if you fill out the form you can get your $1000 back, but you insist it’s a scam? I’m so confused; you have decided to forfeit the money because you have to file paperwork? That’s just a stupid, idiotic decision on their part. Pleaze let me have my Cabin In The Woods!

Someone wanted to know if we could pay their claim without the doctors response because the doctor is being a pain in the azz and not filling out the form. I advised them that although the doctor maybe a pain in the azz it’s not a specified reason for coverage. Plus if the doctor is refusing to fill out your form, you might want to consider why this is the case.

It’s nice to have a purpose; maybe someday I’ll find it.

When I was working EMS at college we had a psych patient/student that was in the habit of not taking their medications. This resulted in a lot of calls for them since once off their meds they would do a lot crazy stuff while attending classes. In fact we got called out so much for them that we created a code just for them. If the call out was for a 9-41A, no further information was required other than location, the A was the first letter of their name. Normally a 9-41 was just a psych call.

I tell myself I don’t care. But that’s a lie, I care deeply, but I’m powerless to change anything. So I put forth the notion that I don’t care, because it’s simply causes too much pain to do so.

So let me clarify, you screwed up your booking, not us, but you and it’s our fault? Then you state you are not going to do business with us again because you messed up and want us to compensate you for your stupidity, but we can’t. I think we can continue to thrive without your business.

They were going to Niagara Falls and wanted to book a hotel on the US side, knowing they weren’t allowed in Canada. But a lack of attention on their part and they actually booked a hotel in Canada, but that’s our fault. Way to own your stupidity by blaming everyone else; no wonder Canada doesn’t want you!

Someone called demanding that our medical coverage be primary for them. I told them we only offer secondary coverage and their medical claims have to go through their primary first. Their answer was they don’t give a crap how the policy is written (reality) they want us to be primary. They then threaten us with their lawyer (yawn). I advised them that any good lawyer who reads our policy is going to tell them the same thing I said. They then state that they don’t give a crap about their lawyer’s opinion. Ok, so you’re going to hire a lawyer, pay them probably more than your claim is worth and then call their opinion a load of crap and ignore their advice because it doesn’t conform to your delusions. Wise move, not! They also like to say crap, a lot, I suppose they could have been saying sh*t, so I shouldn’t complain. This person is having a real struggle with their concept of reality.

I try not to think; so then I’m not disappointed in my answer.

My employer wants us to change our mindset. Problem is, my mind is already set and I have no desire to adjust it.

My spouse works for the USPS and has seen many strange things pass through. The other day a package broke open and was spewing confetti shaped like penises all over the place as it traveled down the belt. If it’s like any other confetti, they’ll be finding little penises for months to cum. Someone suggested maybe the package was headed for Trump?

Had a client call because we denied part of their claim for a simple reason; the policy doesn’t offer that kind of coverage. Their argument went as follows; the policy doesn’t say it doesn’t cover this item. I advised the policy doesn’t say anything about covering this item or not covering it, since it’s simply not written into the policy. It’s just not part of the policy they bought. Can’t ass(u)me because you find no mention of something in an insurance policy, that it is a reason for coverage. (Plus they were being a real dick)

I’ve also taken calls from people who wanted to file claims for home maintenance on their home-owners policy. They figured that they bought a policy for upkeep to their home, nope, no mention of it in that policy either. I need windows; maybe my home-owners insurance will replace them, not!

I always doubted my sibling’s sense of direction when it came to hiking, but on one trip it became apparent they couldn’t read a map either. It was a hot August day and we were running low on water when we came upon a trail junction. We were heading to one particular mountain when my sibling decided to study the map. According to their interpretation of it, if we headed in another direction there would be a stream about 10 minutes away where we could get more water. So we decided that since it was a short walk we’d leave all our gear at the junction and just carry our water bottles. It turned out the 10 minute walk was actually about 90 minutes downhill, which made it even longer going back up to the junction. This being the case, we drank most of the water on the way back and were in the same position we were in when we had left for the 10 minute walk. I never trusted my siblings map reading skills after that. (This is the same sibling that left the lug nuts off) Also as a FYI; if you think downing a large quantity of cashews after eating nothing for hours, plus walking in the heat is a good idea, no it isn’t, they don’t taste as good coming back up.

This is what we found when we arrived at the stream, August 1980

 

You can’t stop the news, but you can ignore it!

On one trek through the woods we started up a mountain on our agenda. It was a nice sun shiny day at the start and we gave little thought as to the weather. We’d been hiking for three days so we had no clue about the weather anyhow. (smart phones not invented yet) As we were approaching the peak unbeknown to us a thunder storm was approaching from the other side of the mountain. By the time we realized what was happening it was too late to go back down so we had to find shelter quickly. We managed to find a small over hang that barely keep the rain off us, but it was all we had. So we rode out the storm, on the top of the mountain with lightning striking everywhere and with us trying not to establish a personal connection with any of it. This was one of the few times in my life when I thought I was done for. Another time was when a nose of a bear appeared in the flaps of our tent sniffing to see if we had any food (I was 12 at the time), there was no food to be had, but they probably did smell my crap. Also if you are running from a bear, make sure you’re a faster runner than at least one of your companions.

Actually flew on this plane, but I don’t think they’ll let me back on, got air sick, missed the airsick bag.

Your life is just a facade, inside you’re just a scared little child who just wants everyone to love them, but you don’t understand why they don’t?

This is the third or fourth time I’ve called on this issue and you people keep giving me the same answer. Then stop struggling with reality, accept the answer. Then pleaze stop with your delusion that the answer might change if you ask enough of us.

Post #175

My competence can be called into question, since I’m no-where in particular and I claim nothing and sacrifice everything. So please don’t ass(u)me, because of the way you understood it.

A lady called, wanted to know why we only paid her claim, but not her husbands. I looked at the claim; she only listed herself on the form, no spouse and each person is individually insured. She then wanted to know why we didn’t know her husband was also claiming a refund. Why would we? How would the claim adjuster (a perfect stranger) that knows nothing about you other than what’s on the form submitted be aware of your husband? We can’t ass(u)me even though she did. Once again, were not using our crystal ball, the data charges are too outrageous!

With the Zika virus running amok I asked a client if his wife was pregnant (cruise line accommodating this) his answer was I have several small children. Sorry, that’s not the answer to the question I asked. I wasn’t asking about the children you’ve already made, but the one you might be in the process of making.

It’s very strange when I hear someone in the bathroom stall next to me is toilet texting. Are they multi-tasking? Pushing buttons while pushing out sh*t?

One of my friends is a divorced mother of three with an ex-husband who seems to think that child support was a suggestion the judge made. At times she would call him at his apartment and would hear a smoke alarm in the back ground chirping away. She called one day to ask for the missing child support and he told her, he wasn’t paying because he had returned to his home country. There was just one problem with this statement, the smoke alarm was still chirping away in the background, busted!

One of my siblings changed a flat tire on their Le Car a long while back and neglected one important thing, to put the lug nuts back on. A short time later they were driving the car and off came the tire. It then proceeded to land in the nearby creek and floated down it. Luckily about a mile and half downstream the tire got hung up on a tree branch before it made it out to the lake. This is where attention to detail would have been a good thing in avoiding this situation to begin with.

My spouse asked me if I feel The Bern, I stated I use to, but I got an ointment and it went away.

On one call Jesus Christ (self-proclaimed) was walking down the medium of the highway buck naked proclaiming he was going to cut off his right hand because it was causing him to sin! He had a butter knife. Not much chance of that actually happening.

Do I need to fill out this claim form you sent me and return it? No, it’s just for you, print it out, hang on your wall and then admire our gift. My employer is just in the business of sending out claim forms because they consider it fun! It’s just what we do. We don’t expect to get them back. Our corporate mission after all is to wipe out a forest and fill the world with meaningless paperwork.

Whatever stupid thing you want to say next is not important since I’m no longer listening and were done (I’m now simulating me slamming done the receiver)!

One Saturday afternoon we were sitting at the station house when a car pulled into the parking lot and a man ran up to our door to tell us that his 16 year old had shot herself in the foot. Apparently he was out teaching her how to shoot a .22 and the lesson didn’t go so well. Luckily, she was a bad shot and the bullet missed all her foot bones and was only a flesh wound. When we alerted dispatch that we were out on a call and it was a walk in (ok limp in) gunshot wound every police officer in the county seems to have appeared at once. Had to ask them to move their patrol cars so we could transport the patient, we had 3 parked in front of the bay.

I’ve written a lot of stuff for this blog, some good, some crap, but all of it was fun! Plus it keeps me sane and helps me sort things out.

I know you’re hurting, but that doesn’t give you a license to be a dick since you’re the one that made certain ass(u)mptions that turned out to be totally wrong, oops!

For a couple of summers I worked as a camp nurse, good money and I didn’t have to sleep with the kids in their cabins, they never sleep, to excited. At one camp it was the first week, so I was an unknown commodity to the staff. This camp was very rocky and had edged rocks sticking out all over the place. One of the campers tripped while running and split open their leg. So I bandaged it up and loaded them into the camp van to go to the hospital. Well the asst. director who hadn’t seen the injury decided to go with me and I sensed doubt in their voice about the need to go to the ER. This was the only ER I ever been to that you had to knock on the door and wait for someone to answer, let’s just say, it was small. Once the nurse removed my bandage at the hospital and the asst. director actually saw the wound, they then proceeded to threw up. The child needed 15 stiches; it was a real nasty gash. The asst. director never doubted my judgment after that.

There was another camp I worked at that would bring in under privileged children to camp for a free week. One child arrived with stiches in their arm and I was caring for them. A couple of days into their stay they got a chemical in their eye so I took them to the ER to make sure there were no issues. While checking out the injured eye the doctor of course checked the other eye and they discovered a scratch on the cornea. When the doctor questioned the camper about it, they stated they had also done this in camp. When I asked them why they hadn’t come to see me about it, they stated they didn’t want to bother me since I was already caring for their stiches. This child was obviously not use to getting consistent medical care. Nice thing about these jobs, I had my Cabin In The Woods, I just couldn’t keep it, bummer.

 

Life has given me lemons and boy do they make my face look funny.

Why is it that the people who put toilet paper on the seat of public toilets, then leave it on the seat for the next person to clean up? If you’re such a germophobe, use your foot to clean up after yourself, pleaze!

Ran into one of my coworkers on the way in to work the other day. They started to tell me how sick they were the day before and were wondering how busy we were and if we missed them? Well with my powers of great observation, I didn’t have the heart to say: I never noticed you were out sick. While they’re in the same department as me, I don’t necessarily notice them if I’m not looking for them. I just found it sad that I hadn’t noticed them out sick.

I was explaining the medical portion of a policy to someone who was clearly intelligent and understood what I was explaining. Yet they wanted to argue with me over little points of the policy. This isn’t virgin territory for me and if you ask my spouse I probably explain it in my sleep. But they kept arguing, trying to get me to say something different so they could twist my words around. Sorry, I’m not new to this and I’m not going to change what I’m saying since they are the facts, better luck next time.

As my Dad use to say; if they had half a brain they’d be dangerous.

After Reading this maybe I should rename my Blog?

An Ozark hillbilly is an individual who has learned the real luxury of doing without the entangling complications of things which the dependent and over-pressured city dweller is required to consider as necessities. The hillbilly foregoes the hard grandeur of high buildings and canyon streets in exchange for wooded hills and verdant valleys. In place of creeping traffic he accepts the rippling flow of the wandering stream. He does not hear the snarl of exhaust, the raucous braying of horns, and the sharp, strident babble of many tense voices. For him instead is the measured beat of the katydid, the lonesome, far-off complaining of the whippoorwill, perhaps even the sound of a falling acorn in the infinite peace of the quiet woods. The hillbilly is often not familiar with new models, soirees, and office politics. But he does have the time and surroundings conducive to sober reflection and honest thought, the opportunity to get closer to his God. No, in Southern Missouri the appellation ‘hillbilly’ is not generally an insult or an indignity; it is an expression of envy.

SOURCE

To teach them a lesson, let’s riot and destroy our own community, that’ll show them were serious! The logic behind this idea is flawed to say the least. When you destroy your own community how does that affect those outside of it; even those that you believe are oppressing you? How does this motivate them to do anything to help you or improve the living conditions? Your destroyed community doesn’t really affect them that much after all and they’ll probably avoid going there, so why should they care?

Another side effect of this; any businesses that were destroyed during the riot may not come back afterwards and may not be replaced by another, thus diluting your community from their absence. So in the end, the community is declining instead of improving and they still don’t care; despite whatever they might have promised after the riot. It’s a troubling cycle that may never end.

I’ve never reached my peak in life, basically because I never lifted off.

You never stop learning, you just stop caring.

I spent 12 years working on ambulances in a volunteer and paid capacity as an EMT, even dispatched some. Never opted to become a paramedic thou, I could tell when a heart rhythm was bad, but it was Greek to me as to what it might mean, so knowing my limits, I declined training. During these times I responded to countless 911 calls and transported many sick people. One time we were treating a lady for a head injury and she remembered falling down the stairs and correctly answered every question we asked of her (Reagan was president) and her pupils were PEARL. So we released the paramedics and set to transport the patient. As soon as they drove away, the lady looked at me and said, “Who are you and what’s going on”? I couldn’t radio the paramedics fast enough!

My career in EMS started off really slow. My first call was a; I’ve fallen and can’t get up. We had to force our way into the house, but in the end we only picked the senior up and put them back in their chair. No injuries. Later that night another crew got called back after they fell again and this time they had broken their leg, so they were finally transported.

My last call also started out slow, but ended very differently. We got a call to transport another senior to the hospital who had broken their hip a few days earlier, so no big rush. They had finally conceded to their family that they were in fact hurt. While driving to the hospital we heard a call out for a head on collision on the highway we were traveling down. As we came around a corner there it was. I stayed with our patient and my partner went out to help. Apparently some teens were racing their cars and one jumped the medium and collided with the other car that was heading to a mall that had a husband and wife in it. The wife was trapped in the car and the husband was free, but injured. The teen wasn’t wearing their seat beat and went through the windshield and was in the road not moving. My partner went to assist the couple since there was already someone with the teen. Once the regular EMS arrived they got back into our ambulance and finished transporting our original patient and I haven’t worked as an EMT since. Not a bad way to end it though. By then my back and mental health had suffered enough and it was time to move on to what became a career in insurance with a stop along the way at a funeral home.

1972 Chevy

Post #150

I want both the money back I paid for my ticket and a full credit for a future flight, with the rebooking fees waved because I’m greedy and don’t have a clue. Plus I don’t want to put out effort to get any of it, just give it all to me.

Actually the reality is; you have to file a claim, fill out the paperwork and submit it for review. If it’s approved, we then give you back all the money you paid for the ticket and you are made whole again. Then the credit will just go away since you’re not entitled to it anymore. If it’s not approved; you’ll still have the credit, but the airline will still demand $200 to use it, because their even greedier than you. After all you should pay to use a credit shouldn’t you!

One of my siblings took their two youngest boys to the pediatrician for a checkup. At the end of the exam the doctor asked them if they had any questions. One of the boys piped up and asked, “why is his bigger than mine?” Apparently they had been comparing them and he was concerned. It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it that counts, right?

When you put in an insurance claim, you have to prove what you’re claiming; they’re not going to take your word for it (those days are long gone). Actually had a claimant call in upset because; “I verified the flight delay with my personal email, so that’s all that is necessary”, no, not really, we still need actual proof from the airline. I guess they have a perceived sense of importance so their word is golden and we shouldn’t doubt it, but alas, we still do. How inconsiderate of us. Undoubtedly, their valiant struggle against reality will continue and yet we still can’t pay their claim. This is but another situation where no matter how much you yell, you still aren’t getting paid. Proof is golden, your word is not.

Had a thought (ouch), with smartphones, you can’t slam the receiver down in anger to hang up, since it doesn’t have one and doing so would break the phone. I miss that.

A 12 year old boy and his Uncle were out hiking at the bottom of a waterfall when an 800 to 900 lbs. boulder a hundred feet up just comes loose and kills the 12 year old. All I have to say is why? I can’t help but feel for the family of this child. This tragedy seems so unreal.

Stop calling random company phone numbers and yelling at their people, who are not in the position to help you. Your rationalization for doing this is because the company from your original call failed or wouldn’t help you in the way you demanded and now you’re a frustrated moron. They actually stated they were calling every phone number they could find that might be remotely connected with the first company, why? You’re just making yourself angrier and guess what, still no resolution to your original problem. So what’s the point of all the yelling? It solves nothing and doesn’t even make you feel better, so stop it before you go postal.

 

People don’t understand how insurance works, but ass(u)me they do. The news is reporting the “possibility” of a severe storm, “maybe” in the future and we start getting calls from people who want to file claims for it since it “might” affect their travel plans. Even though it “hasn’t” occurred yet and “may” not “even” happen. They then get all pissed off when we tell them they can’t file until something has “actually” happen. It’s like going to your auto insurance and telling them that “perhaps maybe” in the future you “might” total your car, so pleaze just give me the money now based on that possibility. It just doesn’t work that way with insurance. The occurrence has to happen first, and then payment can be considered after a claim is received and reviewed. The insurance company is not interested in participating in your view (fraud) of insurance. Plus the data charges on my crystal ball are outrageous and I’m not going to waste it just to check out the client’s hunch on the future. I’d rather use it to find out the lotto numbers.

The answer is kinda no, way to be decisive.

A lady (maybe) called to cancel the flight she booked to see her boyfriend because her husband was diagnosed with cancer. She chose love over lust, isn’t that so sweet! However she wasn’t happy when we told her that her husband’s doctor has to certify the illness so she can get her money back. I guess the husband doesn’t know.

Someone wants to sue us over a claim decision that hasn’t even been made yet? We haven’t even received their claim to review. So they want to sue us now because they “think” they’re not going to like our decision? Even though; we haven’t formed an opinion about their claim. I love idiots, this person came pre-pissed off.

 

We responded to a call from a church social worker about an unresponsive individual. When we arrived on the scene we found an older man on the floor. The social worker explained that they had basically given up on life after their wife died and she would check up on him from time to time since he stopped taking care of himself. He looked like a hermit, long unkempt beard/hair, long finger/ toe nails and generally just not a pleasant sight or smell and with something moving around in his hair. This was pre AIDS so rubber gloves were on the ambulance, but no one was in the habit of carrying them yet. Now I have touched many gross things including dead bodies before this, but after moving him onto the stretcher and into the ambulance I had an over whelming need to go back into the house and wash my hands (hand sanitizers weren’t a thing yet). This one had truly grossed me out.

Had another call; with a person in a similar situation. We had to get the police to place them into protective custody so we could take them to the hospital, since they were refusing care and it was an apparent stroke. When the officer approached the house; they ass(u)med from the smell coming out of it and wanted to know how long our patient had been dead. We advised him, that’s the problem, they’re not. In this case it was the officer who was grossed out. By this point, I had learned my lesson and had rubber gloves on my person for every call.

When I started working on ambulances, rubber gloves were on board because the state said we had to have them. They were mostly used to entertain children en route to the hospital. Then AIDS arrived on the scene. By the time I stopped working on ambulances, I would have gloves in my pants pocket, shirt pocket, coat pockets and anywhere else I could think of. Plus the ambulance had an assortment as opposed to the one size fits all prior to AIDS. But I still made glove animals for the kids. Also I recently found my old uniform jacket that I hadn’t worn since 1992 and it had rubber gloves in both the pockets.

One of my co-workers is named Ed. They had a client ask them for their name, so they gave it, simple enough, right? The client then asked them how to spell it, ok, so they answered “e” “d”, again Ed. The client then proceeded to say ok the first letter is “e” for Ed, what was the second letter again? I think his head exploded! Should have said “d” for dumbazz.

I went to the company holiday party and was having a good time until I had an encounter with a co-worker (of course they were drinking). I noticed a friend of mine sitting at a table by themselves so I went over to talk to them and proceeded to sit in the seat next to them. Suddenly the person who apparently was occupying that seat before me appeared and ruddily let me know that was their seat and they’d like to sit down. So I got up, they sat for about 2 seconds and then got up and went dancing? Huh? They weren’t in the seat when I sat down and clearly didn’t want to sit there now, so why kick me out? What’s next, are they going to pee on the seat to mark it as their territory? The table had 10 seats and 9 were empty before I sat down, what harm was I causing by sitting in that particular seat? And if they really needed to sit down that badly, why not use one of the other 8 unoccupied seats? People’s reactions sometimes just baffle me? Little wonder I want my Cabin In The Woods.

My employer likes it when we tell their customers that we are sorry for whatever their situations are. Not happening with me.  If I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry, nor am I going to falsely express it. If I didn’t make the mistake, I’m more than happy to fix it, but I’m not sorry. I also don’t like to apologize either, something also desired by my employer. Apologize for what? If I made the mistake, then I’m sorry and I apologize, other than that, no. There’s just no need to say I’m sorry for something when I’m not. Apologizing all the time or saying I’m sorry seems counter-productive to me. People believe that it is good customer service and you should express sympathy this way, why? I can do my job, show empathy, be pleasant, engage in small talk and make people happy with the end results, even after someone else has pissed them off and never once say I’m sorry or apologize. Since it is a false sincerity; I won’t mean it and just saying it by rote is not improving the service any.   Plus people are not dumb and know when your spewing bullsh*t at them anyhow. However I will say “I understand”, because I’m listening and understanding their situation.

 

Don’t act before you panic!

We responded to a call for an injury to a child. They were going down a really steep hill on their bike; they then proceeded to use a poorly placed telephone pole at the bottom to stop, major ouch. If that wasn’t bad enough, their family then picked them up and brought them into their home and placed them into a rocking chair. So we had to do the extraction from that. Strangest extraction I ever participated in, the short board was too tall for them and the arms of the rocking chair were in the way and we couldn’t cut them off. Of course, the family should not have moved them in the first place, but that’s another discussion all together.

Had another call for a; personal injury to a child. As we walked up to the front door we could see a child through a picture window screaming at the top of their lungs. (Always an enjoyable ride to the hospital, won’t need the siren) Turns out the screaming toddler was not the patient but the older brother who was upset over their little brother’s injury. The actual patient was an infant and they were all smiles upon seeing us, the injury was a cut over their eye which they couldn’t see, so there were no hysterics on their part. I made the upset child a balloon animal out of a rubber glove, which cheered them up somewhat.

On another call; we were called to care for a drunk 10 year old. He apparently drank about 6 shots worth of Jack Daniels at a friend’s house and then tried to ride his bike home. All he kept saying about the bike ride was, “the ground keep getting in the way”, yea I bet. He had the biggest black eye I ever saw from the numerous impacts between the ground and his face. At one point my partner noticed the child was about to throw up, (funny fact, my partner was totally grossed out by the smell of vomit) so they picked the child up and ran him to a nearby bathroom, almost losing their own lunch in the process. My partner then insisted on driving the ambulance to the hospital with their head out the window to avoid the smell. If it wasn’t sad already that a 10 year old was getting that drunk, there was also the fact that we couldn’t locate his parents. So the police had to put him into protective custody so we could take him to the hospital.

I’ve had partners that intensely disliked working with sick and/or injured children. This of course can be a very tough and stressful situation when you have to see a child suffering; you just want to relieve their pain, which isn’t always possible. But I’ve always looked at it as they needed care and I was there to provide it. Becoming upset during the call was counterproductive to the reason we were summoned. You can get upset after you’re done. Though when I was transporting the crack babies from one hospital to another it was always sad event, but in those situations I was a glorified taxi driver since there were nurses caring for those babies. They were always so small, 2 lbs. if they were lucky and I’ve often wondered how these babies made out later in life.

Had someone call to put in a claim for a refund of their plane ticket telling us his mother had died; a covered reason. Two hours later someone claiming to be his mother called to tell us that she was in fact still very much alive. We won’t have paid unless he could produce a death certificate anyhow, but… Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire! Plus with a touch of fraud thrown in for good measure.

I just wanted to shake the tree to see how many nuts would fall out and to my surprise, it was loaded!

Does anyone hang the phone up anymore? I’ll be talking to someone at work and the conversation is over and instead of hanging up, they stay on the line. Sometimes they talk to others around them. Other times their just talking to themselves or bitching about me. Also they’ll put the line on hold or its just dead air with noises in the background. Hello, I can still hear you, so hang up. Since I’m on the phone all day, it happens consistently. I don’t remember this being an issue 10 years ago. Why is it now? Smartphones perhaps or are people just so self-absorbed that this simple action just doesn’t occur to them anymore? Just hang up the phone people!

You might ask why I don’t hang up. Being on the phone all day, I often have to note the account after the call and I typically use the time to make that note. So the customer usually will hang up, but not often enough.

 

I haven’t written anything interesting lately, but when have I ever?

Got an ambulance call once for a personal injury; resulting from a fall off a mini bike. When we got there, there was a big party happening with a lot of drinking going on. Well this rowdy group was taking turns driving a mini bike around the yard and one less than sober individual crashed it and broke their collar bone, or so we were told. When we surveyed the scene we noticed a large rock near the site of the crash that didn’t seem to belong in an otherwise well groomed yard. It was my crew’s hypothesis that what really happen was; the victim was driving and one of their drunken friends came up with a brilliant idea! Let’s throw this large rock at them, won’t that be oh so funny, not so much. So basically, beer, mini bikes and flying rocks don’t equal a good combination. Can’t help stupid especially when alcohol is involved.

True, but irrelevant. Normally, the opposite of true is false, not irrelevant. But the person who said this was being an ignorant dick so it’s ok.

I just write the words down; I don’t understand or comprehend what I’m doing, since I’m a real deep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz thinker.

Being the Would Be Hermit I of course like being out in the woods camping. In my “yout” I would go hiking in the mountains with one of my siblings, we’d go out for a week at a time generally. On one particular trip we came out to a dirt road running through the woods and took a break. A short time after that 2 individuals walked by and said, oh are you waiting for the bus? A bus, in the middle of the woods; yeah sure. It turns out that this particular dirt road connected a resort to their lake and they ran an old school bus up and down it for their guests. So eventually the bus did appear and we got a ride to the next trail junction, in the back of a pickup that was following the bus, since our packs didn’t fit through the bus doors. It was nice to get a ride the 2 miles to the next trail junction after 3 days of walking and it allowed us to get our campsite set up earlier than normal and get to bed sooner. Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think we’d end up on a bus route in the middle of nowhere.

I remember one hot summer night I was asleep in my apartment when I heard screams from a woman outside my window. The apartment building had an alley between it and the building next door and it wasn’t well light. I assumed the worst and got a flashlight and my .38 to investigate. It turns out that no one was being attacked in the alley. However a women (whose window was open) in an apartment across the alley was having a real good and loud time with their boyfriend. I heard her sounds of passion over my running air conditioner and she was so loud it woke me up. I really believed she was being attacked. I hope she sound proofed her bedroom if she ever bought a house or at least closed her windows when having her fun.

Post #125

I have a fellow co-worker who I believe sees this job as a stepping stone to where ever it is they want to go in their life (they’re a recent college grad) which is fine. But it also appears to me that they think their co-workers don’t really matter, so they don’t see a need to get to know any of us. It’s not like their being mean or nasty; they just choose not to interact with us.

I do hope all their dreams come true and that the way their life currently is; isn’t going to be as good as it is going to get for them in the future. But there is an old saying, “be nice to the people on your way up the ladder, you’ll be seeing them on your way back down”. Myself, I stopped climbing years ago, but when I was bothering, I always made friends, many of which I still talk to.

You’re entitled to your opinion, just as I’m entitled to ignore it.

One of my children, about 4 at the time, decided to walk up to the open front door of the house after a bath, then spread out their arms and announced, “Hello world, I’m naked!” A few years later the same child announced that they were only a few steps from being an adult. Now their 16 and there’s no longer an issue of them being naked at the front door (thank god), but they’re still a few steps from being an adult. They’ve made progress.

 

I have no vision, no clear view of my future, I’m just winging it.

 

Driver #1 is drunk and high, driver #2 is just drunk. They both make the poor decision to get behind the wheel of their respective cars and go driving. Too often in this situation one or both of them will come in contact with some innocent person and everyone’s lives change forever. However in this instance there was a bit of poetic justice in action since they both happened upon the same road heading towards each other. Then Driver #1 proceeded to swerve into Driver #2’s lane and they collided head on and both were arrested for driving under the influence. This is how it should occur. Too many other people have paid a terrible price for poor judgments induced by substance abuse. We all have problems; we just shouldn’t make others suffer for them. I basically don’t feel sorry for either of them; they didn’t belong on the road no matter how much their altered minds rationalized it. So hopefully while on the road to recovery from their respective injuries, they’ll tackle their addictions also.

In my spouse’s encounter with a drunk, they were driving down the middle lane of a three lane highway, in the middle of a bright sun shinny day, in the middle of the week, when the drunk drove up their butt, and then somehow ended up in front of them before veering off into the woods and hitting a tree (I have video). Luckily my spouse and their mother weren’t hurt, but it could have been much worst.

On another occasion (from my ambulance days) the police arrived on the scene to find the drunk beating the man he had just killed because they “damaged his car”. The man was only driving to the high school to pick up his daughter. He died on a cold night by himself and she was left to wonder where her dad was? She was probably getting upset that he was late, what kind of guilt might she have gone through when she found out what really happen? How would you even console this child? The police then arrested and escorted the drunk politely to their patrol car, yea right.

I responded to yet another accident involving a drunk. This guy drove a 70’s era Chevy Monte Carlo into a telephone pole; hit it dead center in the front of the car. There were no brake marks on the road and the police figured he was doing at least 40mph when he hit it. When we arrived he was conscious and sitting behind the wheel of his car with a good size cut on his forehead. One of the fireman noticed blood on the passenger seat and when we asked the drunk if anyone else was in the car with him, he answered “I think my girlfriend”? So believing his girlfriend was ejected out of the car a massive search ensued. But this guy was so drunk he never really gave a clear answer if she was in the car, it turns out she wasn’t. Best we could figure was; when he hit the pole, he cut open his head and then became unconscious for a short period with his head landing on the passenger seat, thus the blood. So at least he didn’t hurt anyone.

While I was wrapping his head in a bandage he looked at the telephone pole swinging in the wind and asked if he had done that, I answered yes you did, and then he said, I sure hope I didn’t damage the car. I later learned that he was driving a company car and he was suing his employer because he claimed they gave him a car with faulty brakes and he did nothing to cause the accident, ah delusions are a wonderful thing.

Basically I have no compassion for people who do this and I would rather be in my Cabin In The Woods in denial (for that’s healthy). Intellectually I understand they have problems, ones they might or can’t control. Emotionally I have no sympathy and by them ruining an innocent bystander’s lives, it can’t and shouldn’t be excused because of their substance abuse problems. I don’t drink or do illegal drugs because I’ve seen what does happen when you do and I’m afraid, with my family history (alcoholism), that if I do, I would lose control and be the cause of something terrible. So I abstain, if only others could.

 

I’m old or maybe just a little bit short; my 12 year olds shoe size is bigger than mine!

One of my children turned to the other and said; you’re so cute when you’re being a dick. Ah the love between siblings is a beautiful thing isn’t it.

When you’re young and weird that’s one thing, when you’re old and weird that’s entirely different. Can more be said about this, probably? Should I say it, perhaps? Will I say it, maybe?

 

One of my children is currently sailing around the Florida Keys and they came across the above named boat.  Being a group of teens, you know where their minds went.

I’ve been told I’m grammatically incorrect, absolutely! I’m reinventing the English language.

I’m entitled to it, I have a right to it, no; you don’t! But you are obligated and responsible for your life and actions!

I spotted a full moon as I walked by a cubicle; the cleaning lady had bent over to get the garbage!

 

This is better than what I saw!

I can write something clever and stupid all at the same time and no one cares, for no one notices.

I was sitting at my desk one day when a customer came in to report a collision they had with their car. They started off by saying “I’ve hit a flying deer”, ok, flying deer? Turns out they were driving down one of the local highways when another car hit the deer, launched it into the air and it landed on my customer’s windshield. They said the deer looked like the flying cows in Twister before it landed. They were still visibly shaken a day later. When I went home that night I was telling the story at dinner when my 4 year old asked with great concern in their voice I might add; was it Rudolph?

 

If your life is so insignificant that you need to steal other people’s ideas to help you feel like someone, then so be it. Inside your soul, you’ll know you’re a fraud.

At one point I worked for a company that handled dental insurance for a state Medicaid program. This policy had a (stupid) rule we called the 8 point rule. Meaning that if you had 8 molars making 4 points of contact in your mouth that was good enough (according to the state) to chew with. This rule was mostly used to deny root canals and then approve extractions (cheaper), so it resulted in many interesting arguments with clients. One particular client was very upset that the state wouldn’t approve her root canal and instead approved an extraction. Her argument went as follows, I still have all my teeth (good for you) and by pulling this tooth it would be akin to having an abortion in my eyes (she was serious, I was laughing). I haven’t met any sentient teeth, so I don’t think pulling a tooth is at the same level of an abortion. I also don’t recall ever seeing any anti-abortion protests outside of dental offices either.

Also had someone complaining about the state not approving the implants they put in for (not covered); since it was their belief they couldn’t get laid because of their bad teeth (their breath was also probably bad). Maybe that was the case or maybe it’s just their bad personality. Either way, it’s not up to the state to help improve their appearance or sex life.  So that perhaps, maybe in the future, someone might find them attractive enough, feel pity, or be drunk enough to then consent to have sex with them, can’t help ugly. Maybe hire a prostitute with bad teeth perhaps?

Finally one crazy lady said we needed to provide her with a gun (for protection) and a helicopter (for transport) to a dentist. Her reasoning was because (she named pretty much every ethnic group) were out to kill her and it wasn’t safe for her to leave the house. I’ve wondered if the dentist might be from one of those ethnic groups she mentioned and once she arrived, might they not try to do her in also? Medicaid pays for many things, even transportation (buses/taxis) but I think helicopters are out of their budget, but not psychiatric medications (hint hint), as for guns, I think not.

 

Before one of my children went off to summer camp they asked for a wrist watch. So I took them to the store and they picked one out with a large face. After camp we went on a cruise, while walking away from the ship a passerby noticed the watch and asked what brand it was. My child answered, “Ah, Target” (Tar jay if you prefer). The stranger thought it was an expensive name brand watch, really, for a 16 year old. I only own a Timex, you know, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking! Someone once told me they had to take their Rolex in for a tune up and it cost them $1200! My last Timex got a tune up; I threw it away when it stopped working. If I’m going to pay that kind of money to maintain something, it’ll be my house, not a watch.

I asked my spouse to come with me so they could pick out their Christmas present (a smartphone). I only told them that we were going to get a Christmas present but didn’t tell them where we were going. The building where the phone store is located is about 90% occupied by a gym. When we pulled into the parking lot, all they saw was the gym. The next thing they said was, “you’re getting me a gym membership!?!” Ah no, I’m getting you a smart phone, see the store in the corner. I was almost in real big trouble!

Once upon a time in a land far, far away (I’ve always wanted to write a fairy tale) I was living in an apartment on the second floor of a building that was surrounded by the flat roof of the first floor. It was nice; we had a door out on to it where the landlord had built a deck where we could hang out. For some reason a group of tweens also thought it would be neat place to hang out on to. Despite the fact we were living there and they were invading our privacy. I keep chasing them off and they kept coming back. They thought they had a right to hang out there for some reason?

A couple of days later, I came home to find their bikes were at the bottom of my stairs yet again. So I collected them all up and locked them in a nearby garage and told the tweens that if they wanted the bikes back, I wanted to speak to their parents. Their reaction was to try to get me in trouble by calling the police; however they were in for a surprise. When the officer showed up with the tweens in the back of the patrol car I explained to them how the tweens won’t stay off the roof and why I had locked up their bikes. The officer understood, loaded the bikes into the trunk of the patrol car and took all the tweens to their respective homes (I’m sure the parents were thrilled) and I never saw them again. I never understood why they would think it was ok to do this. If I had decided to disregard their privacy and hung out, outside the windows of their home, they certainly would have been calling the police. I never did call the police, perhaps I should have. Though, I found it funny when they did.

Do you have an opinion that no one asked you to express? Post an irrelevant comment then! I always do.