My 16 year old asked for a new pair of sneakers. I asked them what’s wrong with the old ones. They said they “might” get holes “in the future”, I advised; let’s wait for the holes, no Air Jordan’s here, not in the budget.

A month later they came back to me and one sneaker has one small hole in it and they were looking for new sneakers. I advised I wanted them to become a lot holier, like the Pope Holy.