A neighboring ambulance service got a call for an attempted suicide that just wasn’t meant to happen. This individual was at work as a short order cook when they decided to slit their wrist; luckily they did it the wrong way. When they realized that wasn’t going to work they ran out of the dinner and into the path of a tractor trailer, which managed to stop just short of hitting them. Determined to succeed, they then decided to jump into a nearby river. Being it was February they probably thought the cold water would finish the job. However by this point the fire department was there and pulled them out of the river and the cold water had stopped the bleeding from their wrist. None of this situation is funny, but either someone/thing was looking out for this person or…