My Dads unit was occupying a German village during WWII when they encountered a problem with some locale teens.  They apparently stole a case of grenades from the supply depot.  They knew the teens took them and wanted them back before anyone pulled a pin, so they rounded them up.  They of course claimed not to know anything about the missing grenades. So thru my Dads translating they got the teens parents together and explained that this was what they were going to do.  They wanted to psych the teens out, so they gave each teen a shovel and matched them out to a field and ordered them to start digging their graves.  While digging a squad of soldiers then was matched out into the field like a firing squad.  What they asked the parents to do was pretend it was all real and cry and scream for their children’s lives.  The show worked and the teens gave up the grenades real fast when asked one more time.  The unit commander just wanted the grenades back and felt this would work, correct he was.

My child was at their job taking care of an internet order when they noted it was an order for about 30 of the same type of sweater in various sizes.  So they showed it to their boss to look into.  They in turn called their boss who was already researching the order.  They had contacted the buyer and it turns out the sweaters were for an ice skating team.  So it’ll be safe to say the XL’s in the order were not for the skaters.

There’s no better decision than a poorly thought out one.

If it’s all built upon lies, how long do you really think it’s going to last?

I’m sorry, but you’re choosing to take an ignorant and stupid stanch to a provable reality isn’t changing anything.

Post #1000

I was out deer hunting with my Dad once when he got the call of nature.  So he leaned his shotgun against a tree and squatted to do his business.  Shortly after doing so a deer comes around the corner and all of a sudden his trying to pull up his pants and grab his shotgun all at the same time and doing neither successfully.  I was too busy laughing at the sight of this to get a shoot off, so the deer lived another day, I think it was laughing also.

Going with the flow can be beneficial, for disturbing it can have dire consequences.

I write what nobody reads and I read what nobody writes.

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you get to do something about it.

Everyone is telling you their version of what they want you to hear.  It however doesn’t coincide with the reality you understand.

If I can’t stop thinking about something, I write it down and it tends to go away.

I’m sick of trying to help people who refuse to see it as help since they think they deserve something else.

What is the human need to park as close to their objective as possible?  To the point where they’ll circle a couple of times in the hope that a closer spot will open up for them.  When they could already be there if they just parked a little further away!

Me and my spouse decided to relocate and were renting a 3 bedroom condo at the time and were temporarily moving into a 1 bedroom basement apartment so we could save money for a house  So we really needed to get rid of stuff and raise money to pay for the move.  So we had a garage sale.  During the sale we had a portable crib setup and since it was new item at the time and some lady nearly crashed her car to run up and buy it.  She was disappointed, it was already claimed and occupied by our oldest and they neither were for sale.  We moved the crib to the back so no one else would try to buy our child.  Thou now that their 20, you can have then for free.

I see it for what it is; I don’t have the vision to see it for what it could be.

It’s a once in a lifetime offer that means maximum aggravation and minimum reward in return.

You know your house is a mess when you find stuff that was lost long ago by simply cleaning.

You should achieve your goal and then take it before anyone notices.

If anyone asks, I’ll tell them I’m in shape. After all round is a shape.

I had an Uncle that served as a Marine in the Pacific during WWII.  His preferred weapon of choice was a shotgun to shoot up into the trees with.  You might ask why would he want to do this.  Apparently the Japanese snipers would climb to the top of the trees and tie themselves to it.  So often the Marines would hear noises up in the canopy but couldn’t see what was making it.  So the shotgun was the best weapon for this situation.  Thou he did joke he shot a lot of monkeys also, after all it was a shoot first ask question later situation.  This Uncle actually owned a Cabin In The Woods, lucky him.

I heard someone say, “I lost a pound”; I think I found it.

A little of everything; is not enough of anything.

We don’t work with eventualities, we only work with possibilities.

A former friend of mine ran the security detail for a local community college.  For some reason the county bought a couple of Chevy Citation electric cars that no department wanted, a wise purchase.  (This is the same county that bought skin colored gauze for its EMT’s, but that’s another story)  My friend decided to take them on and use them to patrol the campus.  Reliable they were not, with its 20 car batteries under the hood.  At one point one had an electrical fire and my friend was “shocked” to discover that not all fire extinguishers are the same when he landed on his butt.  The Citation was a crappy car with a gas engine in it; it did not improve when electrified.

On one hike we were headed for a lean too that was a distance up the trail when we decided we wouldn’t make it before dark so we stopped to set up camp.  This was back when flash lights were crap and we had no desire to continue hiking in the mountains in the dark.  So we settled in, made dinner and went to bed.  Later that night we heard screams coming from the direction of the lean too.  But being chickens by nature and with no desire to run thru dark woods with crappy flash lights we stayed put.  Come the next morning we encountered the source of the prior nights screaming.  Apparently a group was at the lean too and decided that instead of hanging their food in a tree; they would put it in the back of the lean too, wrongly believing that no bear would walk over them to get to it.  Well surprise, the bear not only came to visit them that night, but did not hesitate to shred their equipment to get at the food contained within.  This is why you need to respect the local’s strong desire to eat and not care if you are going to make it easy for them.  Luckily no one was hurt, but their rented equipment was destroyed, I guess they didn’t get that deposit back.

On another trip we watched a bear and her two cubs help themselves to someone else’s food.  They had strung it up by three lines which is a good setup, unless…   Mom sent each cub up a tree where they cut the lines and as the food swung down on the final line, Mom grabbed the bag and dinner was served. Clearly not the first time they had used this approach.  I never lost any food to bears, the closes I came was a chipmunk that did a tight rope act and chewed thru the side of the bag where the garbage was.  Thou there were many a night I was convinced we would wake up in the morning and have nothing to eat and wishing I was staying at a Cabin In The Woods instead of a tent.

I’m also a big fan of a good flash light, the brighter the better.  I wish head lamps were a thing while I was actively hiking, I might have even gone to see what the screaming was if I had one.

I was picking up my future spouse at the train station one time when she was coming up to visit and she had a reason to be very excited about this trip.  She had already sort of said yes and was now getting the engagement ring after it had been sized.  She was so excited that she left her luggage on the train and didn’t notice until it had already left.  A transit officer noticed us reading a map in our car as we tried to figure out the train’s next stop.  He called his counterpart at the next station who retrieved the luggage and waited for us to arrive to collect it.  I guess it was just meant to be, since it was her special weekend.  For years after this I picked her up at this station and never again saw a transit officer there, except for this night.  Are there really transit officers, or were they ghost?

You’re not stupid, you’re just disorganized.

I was eating an aka “food product” this morning and the box was proudly proclaiming: “Now with 50% more real cocoa!”  So this begs the question, how much cocoa was in it before, ¼ of ½ of 1 percent perhaps?  And now they have doubled it!  Also makes you wonder what else is in there to give it the cocoa taste?  But then I don’t really want to know, after all mine is a process life, so why should I be concerned with my processed food.

I remember when I was living alone I wanted to have another living thing in my apartment that wasn’t in my refrigerator to give me a reason to go home.  So I got a cat, named it Polly and kept it around until it started to stalk my newly walking child and attacking them.  I found a new home for Polly after it started to do that.  I guess it was too territorial and the baby was infringing.  I should have listen when the Vet I used called Polly the cat from hell.

A couple of months before our wedding my future spouse got her license to drive, so when we went on the honeymoon she was new to a lot of driving situations.  Well one night while driving down a dark New England highway it was us and a car behind us.  That car then proceeded to exit and my spouse kind of freaked and stated, “I can’t see anything behind me!”  She had never had total darkness behind her before, city girl.  I told her she didn’t need to be concerned about seeing where we’ve been, but where were going.  A philosophy for our new life together as we drove back to our Cabin In The Woods.

Post #975

The world is different when you don’t have to be concerned with the cost of it.

Doing it either your way or my way is ok, since neither of us is wrong, just different.

Once saw an ad that claimed to be performed by real actors and not people.

I know they can function to a point in society, but do they comprehend just how off they are?  This person made up a song with my name in it and would sing it at work, not to be mean, they were just off.  I actually think they liked me and this was their way of letting me know.

It looks pretty in the packaging, but once you have unwrapped it; you’ll wish you hadn’t.

I once made the mistake of working retail during Christmas rush.  I was working at a store that had 24 cash registers available to them and they had them all open.  This still didn’t stop a customer from coming up to me to complain that we should have more open than we did.  So let’s do the math, our total capacity was 24 registers and we had 24 cashiers working, so full capacity.  I’m not certain how this person expected us to increase our volume?  Must be nice to be delusional.

Back when I was working with auto insurance a customer put in a claim for their stolen car and was promptly paid.  About a year later they got notice from a police department that they had recovered the engine to that car wanting to know if they wanted it.  So he contacted us, he didn’t want just the engine, so the insurance company claimed it since they actually now owned it.  It recouped some of what they paid out for the car.  I guess the car wasn’t shipped overseas.  I thought of this after a friend of mine went to a chop shop and got a new muffler worth $600 for $140, no VIN# on mufflers.

On one winter camping trip with my youth group we decided that we wanted to start a snow ball fight with another group that was also camping there, because that’s what bored teens do.  So we worked out a strategy; some of us attacked their camp and started the snow ball fight and got them to chase after us.  The rest of our group was emplaced on the top of a hill with a large supply of snow balls already made.  So the runners lead the other group into our well laid out ambush and with our planning we were victorious and kept them from attacking our Cabin In The Woods.  Since there is no point in starting the snow ball fight if you don’t plan to win it.

I’m so constipated!  Look at all the toilet paper I’m saving!

I disagree with your point of view.  But I respect your right to be ignorant and stupid about it.

I work as hard as I choose to, but not always necessarily as hard as others might want me to.  Why do you think I want a Cabin In The Woods?

We’ve been dancing around stupid for a while now; sooner or later reality will intervene.

You know nothing of them except your assumptions so you don’t get to have an opinion.

Accurate information is key to making a good decision.  Unfortunately too many people relay on hearsay evidence instead.  Makes life a bit too interesting for most.

I find that when I don’t give a sh*t, nothing constructive gets done, no real mystery there thou.

They couldn’t conceive that it would end.  But that’s the nature of life, there’s a beginning and the eventual end of all things.  Big or small, it’s the nature of it all to complete the cycle.

I need my life to be practical or what’s the point?

My doctor told me I need to get more exercise.  They suggested perhaps when I get home I go walking around the block a couple of times.  Problem with that, I live on a dead end street and the neighbors might call the cops if I’m always walking up and down it.  Besides as I have mentioned before, when it comes to exercise, I’m a sloth.

There are a lot of people out there that are serious and dedicated to their craft; that never succeed in it, despite their best efforts.  Does that mean they’re a failure?  No, because they tried and took the risk.  Many people are too afraid to even try.

I’ve never emerged from oblivion so it’s kinda hard to fade into it.

I have opinions, which no one hears or cares about.

My response when someone says something and I didn’t hear what they said and ask them to repeat it and they won’t.  “It’s easy to never know what I never knew.”  Then proceed to My Cabin In The Woods to wonder why.

It needs to be a short term goal, for if I’m in it for the long term I’m out of luck.

You shouldn’t put your life on hold for another unless the feeling is mutual.

The only place anyone believes in what you’re saying is the voices in your head.

Post #950

I think I’m having a mid-life crisis, but instead of doing that whole sports car/younger girl friend thing, I just don’t want to work at what I’ve been doing for the last twenty years.  I want to do something new with my life, but what that might be I don’t know.

I’ve been having this dull headache lately and if you think about it, it’s reminiscent of my life in many respects.

Have you ever seen anyone milk a banana? No?  Then why is there banana milk?  Just because you can make something unnatural, doesn’t mean you should.

Was there some interspecies sex going on to create this milk?  It’s just weird.

We cover many things, just not your acts of stupidity.

I don’t want to greet the day, be the day or seize the day; I just want to sleep the day away.

We were camping this weekend and my youngest was complaining that the lettuce in their sandwich (that was left in the car overnight) was frozen.  What?  Haven’t they heard of iceberg lettuce?

I was assisting with a group of children teaching them how to use a map and compass on a laid out course.  We expected the children to make mistakes since it was new to them.  But one child while reading their compass went in the entirely wrong direction.  When I went to assist them we both discovered something about their brand new compass, when it pointed north, it was really pointing south, not in the least bit helpful but was a very interesting problem.

I have no patience for the whining of the ignorant.

Back in college when I lived off campus I was pretty much on my own when it came to paying for food.  I worked some so I had a little money and my diet showed that.  One of my main stays was mac n cheese.  I could get 3 boxes for $1 and then I would make three meals from one box, so $1 would provide me with 9 meals.  No wonder I was so skinny.  I had a roommate whose parents sent him money every month for food, which he choose to drink instead of eat.  Once he helped himself to my mac n cheese and ate 3 meals at once, after I was done yelling at him, he never did that again.  If I had half the monthly budget he had for food, I could have eaten like a king.

I went to Outback for lunch a while back and they put us near the bathrooms.  This turned out to be quite entertaining.  Outback labels the bathroom doors Blokes and Shelia’s and this confused many a person.  I saw a couple of Blocks go into the Shelia’s and then quickly come rushing out.  So it was meal with a show.

I bought a pair of mitten/glove combination because it reminded me of a similar pair I had back in the days when I went hunting.  Turns out I’m trendy, these mitten/glove are apparently making a comeback for the purpose of texting according to some children I know.

It’s not your view, it’s not their view, it’s my view that I’m concerned with.

Apparently there was once a different banana that people ate that was devastated by a disease.  These bananas were Asexual in their reproduction and it quickly spread the disease.  So basically they f*ucked themselves out of existence.

As a child I belong to a youth group that is known for teaching fire building skills, which apparently not everyone grasped, even the leadership.  I was once at a large gathering of this group and we were at the closing bonfire and try as they might they couldn’t get it to ignite.  So one parent frustrated by this failure of the others retrieved a road flair from their car and stuffed it into the not burning bonfire, thus did we create fire and then proceeded to my Cabin In The Woods!

Back in my Yoot we did a pioneer camping trip where we built structures and other useful items with lashing.  One item we built was a drying rake over the fire.  One of my friends left their gloves on it and went off to do some other activity.  Upon returning, their gloves were no longer on the rack, but there were a pile of ash shaped like gloves in the fire.  So it worked, the gloves were dry!

What’s it like to have once been considered cutting edge and then fade until you’re considered irrelevant?

People like to do things in the latest way and disregard what they consider to be “Old School”.  You however need to take one thing into consideration, “Old School” worked when it was considered cutting edge, so don’t disregard it so fast, there may still be merit there.

Ipod in the 1850’s

Someone once asked me when I was going to grow up.  I tried that once, it was no fun so I stopped doing it.

You ever utter the phrase, I can’t think straight!  How about just thinking crocked instead?

It’s not that I’m too busy to help you, it’s just I don’t care to.

I’m going to buy a motel and name it The Laid Inn or the The Inn & Out perhaps and rent the rooms by the hour.  To save money we’ll be using disposable sheets and mattresses covered in plastic.  We also won’t be offering blankets; customers will not need them, but they will have plenty of free tissues and paper towels.  Also for ease of cleanup, the floors and walls will be covered in tile with a drain in the middle of the room.  The ceiling will of course have mirrors.  A garden hose will also be available to help clean the room and customers.  There will also be vending machines available to provide for certain needs.

We’ll also be offering 2 minute specials where we will provide a closet with a love seat in it since it’s appropriately named where he can bend her over it.  Plus we’ll guarantee a daily black light inspection of each room, don’t want to get a rep for running a dirty establishment, we want it to be classy and elegant.

They stare at the stars flowing out endlessly into the future, what mysteries do they hold?

Lately everything seems like baby steps for me, I need to do some adult steps instead and get on with it.  Maybe I should consider this in my Cabin In The Woods, if I had one.

Is the plumber trying to say something?

If I an’t wearing part of my last meal on my shirt, then my day isn’t yet complete.

Post #925

I’m going thru one of those periods where I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed and hide from my reality, a bit counter-productive if you ask me.  I’m even questioning the usefulness of writing this blog and my desire for a Cabin In The Woods.

If I possess knowledge of a routine that helps me manage my daily life and then once it becomes obsolete, soon after that I will subconsciously make it irreverent in my mind and have forgotten it.

Don’t get so caught up in your rhetoric that you don’t see the beauty all around you.

I’m running a different race than everyone else, aka my own race.

Was it a life well lead probably not, so let’s keep it simple, since I’m that stupid?

I don’t have enough information on the situation to make an informed opinion.  But then when has that ever stopped others from doing so?

He never sought this out, that’s what makes him perfect for it.

If you can see and understand your flaws, perhaps you can fix them.

I use to work every Monday morning with another EMT and paramedic and we not only worked together for a while but also very well with each other.  The other EMT didn’t like to do the driving or radio work, so on BLS calls she would do all the patient care while I took care of the rest.  This system worked well for us, I think our fastest call was 22 minutes from dispatch to scene/hospital and then back in service.  One time she was complaining that our recent calls weren’t interesting.  Be careful what you ask for, the next patient threw up on her so I inquired if that was interesting enough for her?

The paramedic we worked with often wasn’t at the station and would respond from home if we needed her.  One morning she comes in to check the equipment and states she’s mad at me and the other EMT.  So we asked her what was wrong?  She said the night before she dreamt that we got a call that required her and as she approached the station I got in one ambulance and went one way and the other EMT got in the second and went in another direction.  She then had to get in the third ambulance and decide which one of us too chase after.  We reminded her that it was a dream and we didn’t actually do any of that and the other EMT didn’t drive.  We were also wondering where the third rig came from since this service only owned 2.  She had no answer for that, but she still insisted she was mad with us, crazy, right?

You push the envelope of reasonability just so you can maintain the illusion that you have power.

Religious beliefs that exclude all others are a bad idea, to live with your fellow man; you need an open heart and mind.

Life is not really a problem as much as it’s an annoyance.

My blog is a journey of discovery for me leading to my Cabin In The Woods.  Maybe someday someone else will discover it to.

Last Sunday I made the mistake of going to the deli counter to get some lunch meat for the flowing week.  They were extremely busy and the line was long.  Of course there was one lady who wasn’t happy that she had to wait and was very vocal about it.  I don’t think she would have been happy even if they had her order ready before she even arrived.  Thus is the agony of the perceived self-important.

They have a pretty face, I just wish there was something going on between their ears.  I’d prefer an ability to have an intelligent conversation also.

I love speaking from a position of ignorance to just impress people.

On one particular camping trip I had the van all loaded up and still had a bag of garbage to dispose of.  Reluctant to put it in the car, I placed it on the roof of the van with the idea of putting it in the dumpster on the way out of camp.  Well at least that was the idea.  When I got home I realized I never actually did this and it was no longer on the roof.  So somewhere in the 150 miles between the camp and my house it fell off, oops.

I texted out the joke; how do trees access the internet?  They log in of course.  To which I got the following response, “And get the dirt on everyone before they leaf”, not sure who wins that one.  So keeping the thread going I sent back, what do you call an owl whose wings are on fire?  Hooters because they have hot wings!  The only response I got to that was baaaaad!

I’m lying in my dark Cabin In the Woods because no one cares, or because no one can.

You need to relax and stop thinking everything is going to go your way, because it isn’t.