The person who mounted this to the tree misses the whole point of the woods; it’s supposed to be dirty. If that bothers you, perhaps stay home in your gem free bubble.

Got a call for the test code for allergies to grass, but with the individual’s accent I didn’t hear the “GR”, so I thought I heard azz.  Now we do test for issues with your azz, we just use more polite words for it.

 

 

Whinny, self-entitled idiots who think the world revolves around them and that it owes them everything are ruining it for the rest of us.

Once a day keeps my bank account from going away.

If their paying you, you have to do it their way, because, well, their paying you and can tell you how and when they want it done.  If you can’t grasp that concept and insist on doing it your way, you might be in for a surprise.

They said; “I’m dressing for a look”, so ok I get it, you’re trying for slob, got it.  However you’re also trying for a job and impressions are important.  Maybe try for a look to get the job first and then share your desired look with them after you get hired.

I have a large Oak tree in my backyard that has become a battle ground between my new dog and the squirrels.  They are trying to get to the acorns and my dog is trying to get them.  My spouse is amazed by the brazen attempts made by the squirrels, calling them kamikazes.  They sit just outside the dogs range and tease her.  The rest of the time the dog is sitting like it’s standing guard over the acorns, daring the squirrels to bring it on.  Then I watched a Mexican standoff, the squirrel was within reach of my dog starring at her and she was staring back, she lost.

The war has escalated; she actually caught a squirrel and had it in her mouth before it escaped.  My child who witnessed it said they never heard such noises from a squirrel before.  I sure neither had the dog, that’s why the squirrel most likely got away, she had it in her mouth and the noise freaked her out.

One kamikaze squirrel was running back and forth on the top of the fence with the dog chasing it.  It did it about 5 times before it jumped into a tree, what a tease.  Another time I let her out and there were a smorgasbord of squirrels in the backyard.  She lost them all trying to decide which to chase.

One squirrel down; she caught and injured one today.  Apparently its noises didn’t deter her this time.  My youngest had to put it out of its misery.  I’m not surprised, but poor thing.  But she was determined and was successful.

First come, best served.

Post #1425

I asked a lady the first letter of her last name and she said “P for pig”, and I was a bit surprised by the choice of that word.  The fact is I don’t know anything about the person I was talking to on the phone and so of course I made some ass(u)mptions about her response.  Might I not wonder if this person has weight/self-esteem issues and her subconscious was slipping thru?  Or she could have just been hungry and was planning on pigging out at lunch?

Heard a co-worker state as they were leaving; “The A-team is going home”.  Yeah, pain in the Azz team for certain.  Their just difficult for no other reason than they can be.

I had a co-worker complain that I was using spaces instead of dashes between numbers, silly complaint, but ok.  Then she complained that I was using slashes between letters and shouldn’t.  Ok so I can’t use slashes, but you want me to use dashes, my, the problems you are having with your co-workers.  After all I’m accomplishing the same result, just not in their way, I believe they need a sense of control, I know I need them to bug off.

They have an educated opinion, but even with that, they still could be wrong.

There are two sides to every story and I rather think you’re over dramatizing yours to win my favor thou.

My blog has been live for two years now and still no one has really noticed it.  Except for that web service trying to sell me something to increase visitors, I find that ironic in that they clearly didn’t read my blog.  So in the world of a Would Be Hermit, it continues to be a complete success.  Thou I do wonder what that one visitor from Martinique was searching for that they arrived on this blog?  Do they have a Cabin In The Woods there I could move into?  Do they even have woods?  I should Google that.  Other than that, let’s hope for more of the same for the next year.

With me you get the whole package.  It’s just what is in that package might be a cause for concern.

I was at a drug store the other day after work, watching another customer arguing with a cashier because they won’t refund a product.  In the heat of the argument the customer ass(u)mes and points at me and says to the cashier, why don’t you ask your manager!  Whoa, don’t drag me into this; I’m just an innocent bystander who will be running to their Cabin In The Woods very soon.  Plus another reason not to wear a tie.

Someone asked “why I did it?”  The real questions should have been “why not do it?”

I had a co-worker who seemed to have the pathetic need to always be first.  They were the first to complete training.  They were the first to show their worth.  They were the first to call in sick.  They were the first to not call in at all when sick.  They were the first to really piss the boss off and they were the first to be fired.  But they kept their streak alive.

I once worked for an ambulance service that was located in Rockland County, which is appropriately named since there are rocks sticking out all over the place.  At one point while returning from a call, we came upon an officer who had just found a motorcycle accident where the driver used several of these rocks and a cliff face to stop.  So we offered our assistance to treat and transport the injured.  Turns out the driver was a teenager on a joy ride and didn’t even have a license to drive anything.  I bet he never got on a motorcycle again.  Rocks teach a hard lesson.

I’m sorry you can’t handle anything outside your realm of routine.  I can, so please let me and you go hide in my Cabin In The Woods.

Instead of just hanging on, can I just sit down instead?

Heard someone recently state “I have 10 things on my mind”, that explains a lot.  Perhaps you need to learn how to prioritize?

We have laws and rules in society to keep it functioning.  Being that this is the case then why do we always have people who think it doesn’t apply to them?  They go around thinking their free will also applies to them doing whatever they can come up with and to d*m with everyone else in the world.

Sometimes I’m waiting for a responsible adult to come along and take care of things.  Then I realize, I’m that adult, that’s annoying.

More stuff leaves my mind than enters it.

Everyone got their phones?  Ok then, so were all phonies.

There are real problems in the world and you’re getting yourself into a tizzy over something that isn’t.  I think you need to work on your perspective of what is an actual problem and what’s just an annoyance to your overblown ego and sense of self impotence.

Sometimes not being able to come up with a good idea, is the bad idea.

I know everything not to know.

You’re not superior to me and I’m not superior to you.  Yet we are all superior in our beliefs of superiority over others.

Yes I know you’re the only one that does any work here and all your co-workers are just sitting around picking their noises and strumming on their ukuleles.  So thank you, how would we possibility accomplish anything without you gracing our presence on a daily basis?

You should do whatever works for you to cope as long as long as it isn’t destructive to you or your love ones.  I cope with my dream of a Cabin In The Woods, that’s my happy place.

I’m a would be Big Fish in search of a small pond.

Post #1400

I dreamt that I was working at a nursing home caring for my mother in law when my mother in law came in to visit herself.  What possible meaning is in that?  Just very strange.

Recently had to purchase a new to me car for my oldest, it was unplanned expense.  You put 190,000 on a 20 year old car and it just dies; no quality these days.  Anyhow, they were complaining that it smelled like cigarette smoke.  So to cure that, I got them a bottle of New Car smell, problem solved.  They chose to disagree.

I know what I’m trying to say, but my mouth is not cooperating with the brain.

You’re a person of many a “word”.

If it’s your desire to impress your boss with your usefulness and flexibility, you might also want to try for reliability also.  For if you leave them hanging when their depending on you, you might find yourself without a job.

When my Dad was younger he trained for boxing.  So growing up we had a set of boxing gloves lying around.  Occasionally when we really pissed him off we would get offered personal boxing lessons.

I have to live with my decisions, I wish I was one of those who can go on with their life with little after thought for their actions, unfortunately I can’t.

Can you starve near enough to death to see it?

You’re all theoretical, while they just get to it.

The only problem I had with my recent camping trip is that it didn’t go far enough into the woods to get off the grid.  This location had cell service.  I wanted to be out of touch with my reality and it followed me there, a total bummer.  It’s for certain that my Cabin In The Woods will be off the grid.

When you buy some land for the view and then build on it that doesn’t automatically mean you now also own that view.  For something could come along to cause you to loose said view in the future and you then don’t get to take your fantasy further in pretending you actually bought it.  You didn’t, you just got to take advantage of it until you no longer could

Respect is a two way street; if you’re not giving it, then don’t expect to receive it.

Dad, you didn’t make the powdered milk last night”, cried out the children.  “Yes I did”, was the answer.  Children’s response: “Then why is it warm!”  A childhood memory.

Golf is a game of strokes, too many of those and you’ll have one.

Back when I use to chase deer around the woods aimlessly we had a running joke.  If you hear one shot, then the hunter got the deer, a second shot and their finishing the animal off.  If a third shot rang out, that meant the first two missed and now they were wasting ammo in frustration.

I’m always here, except for those times when I’m not.

In my day I’ve occupied many an outhouse without much thought, for their purpose is clear, why complain about them.  However back in the 70’s I was traveling thru Ohio on an expressway when we stopped for the call of nature.  Now I was a bit surprised to find the state were still using outhouses at their rest stops (but then they do have a large O in their name) and I had one issue with it.  There was a steady breeze blowing up into the hOle while I was seated which I found very disconcerting.

Of course there is always the joy of using an outhouse in the winter.  I’d try to just hover over the hole out of a fear my butt might freeze to the seat.  Ah, a trip down memory lane.

Someone was calling in to set up an appointment to get their sperm tested.  They weren’t too happy to get a female on the phone so they asked to be transferred to a male representative.  Apparently women are unaware of how a male jacks off, did you know that?  Anyhow the rep they got were peppered with many an inappropriate question on how the specimen needed to be collected and with whom?  Their co-workers were well aware of the call and the discomfort they were having with it, asked them when the call was over if they were going to meet with the patient to give them a hand job, sighting it would be providing excellent customer service.  They didn’t laugh.

I spend too much money on replacing mirrors, for every time I look into one…

I don’t play games, for I’m serious about what I’m doing.  Yeah right!

There are always those amongst us that can’t or won’t live within what is considered social norms.  Question is what to do with them?  I say leave me be, for the variety in life is the spice of it.  You should learn to handle diversity, its fun!  Buy me a Cabin In The Woods and then you won’t have to deal with me.

Too many chiefs gives this indian a headache, so that’s why I’m ignoring you.

Apparently in the process of dog grooming, when their drying its hair the dog is placed in a box contraption to do so.  Now the issue comes up when you forget the dog is in there.  I had a client do that and cooked the dog just long enough to give it second degree burns.  So my employer now had some medical bills to pay and the customer was looking for a new insurance carrier.  I guess the owner ordered a trim, wash and a slightly toasted special and just didn’t know it.  I wonder if it was a wiener dog?

I intend to live as long as I do, then die.

Post #1375

Your story wasn’t that interesting the first time around.  So no, I don’t want to hear it again from a different perspective.

I was working on an assigned project at work that required me to use a specific book.  Occasionally others need this book and will call out for it.  One person got all bent out of shape that I had it and that it wasn’t in its proper place. (According to them)  When I advised I was actually working on it, they ignored that info and went into the boss to complain?  That was a bad idea on their part, for being a bully isn’t going to work with me.  So instead of me getting in trouble liked they planned, it back fired on them.  But then their co-workers already knew what a pain is the arsh they are, I just suspected it.

It’s a pointless protest, but I’m having fun just the same.  Maybe it’ll annoy them just a little.

I plan to go above and beyond the minimal point necessary to get me there.

I use to know a person that worked in arbitration with unions.  In one case a female filed a complaint accusing a male co-worker of whipping out his member and showing it to her in his hand (making a jester I suppose) during working hours at Airborne Express, remember them?  It was an unrequested viewing and she decided to hand the job off to the union.  At the hearing to determine what would be done, the male stated for the record, “My member is too small to fit into my hand for her to actually see it”.  Needless to say his nonchalance in this hearing cost him his job.  It certainly didn’t get him one.

If stupid is better, then yes this is better.  A political opinion perhaps.

After I graduated from high school I worked the summer at a nursing home as the chief butt wiper and diaper changer.  Perhaps that’s why I get that duty or doodey with my mother in law now, I have experience.  Anyhow there was one patient there that I just loved.  His name was Frank and he had been a professional boxer.  Not surprisingly he had Parkinson’s.  Besides that issue he did have a lot of stories to share about his life and if you asked him if he was a boxer, his answer was always; “yes, I boxed oranges”.

A few years later I returned to that facility as an Ombudsman with a small hope that Frank was still there, unfortunately he had moved on to that ring in the sky by then.  You know how you meet people along your life’s travel that have an influence; I count Frank in that group.

Out of my way or I’m going to, perhaps, maybe, run right pass you.

My Dad once purchased a used Nova that was painted kinda like the local police cars and had a CB antenna on the trunk.  It gave out the wrong impression to the public, so we would often get flipped off or people would try not to react suspiciously when we were nearby.  This department did drive K Cars at the time, but I guess people couldn’t tell the difference.

The car had another unique aspect, its frame was crooked and drove down the road kind of sideways and if I had a nickel for every time someone flagged us down to tell us that, we might have actually fixed it.  Thou it did drive fine despite this issue.  Now also being a quality Chevy product, when the car sat through a rainy or damp night, it was guaranteed not to start the next morning because its carburetor was crap and all attempts to correct this issue never worked.

Finally we decided to just junk it and replace it with something more reliable. Then to my surprise one day while backing an ambulance into a bay, that Nova pulled into the parking lot with someone looking for help.  They had resurrected it from the junk yard and put it back on the road, go figure.  One person’s junker is someone else’s sort of reliable transport.

Like most people, I dislike being stuck in traffic jams when the only reason is because there is a large volume of cars on the road.  I’d like there to at least be a reason for the jam other than that.  Like the time a poorly maintained pickup lost a rear wheel and spun into other cars after its tire parted way.  Then I spotted the missing tire a few hundred yards down the road.  At least in the end there was something to laugh about.  Of course when I leave every day either to or from work, it is a volume traffic jam, just another reason for my Cabin In The Woods, not an issue there.

The only real issue I have with my children’s youth group is with the yearly influx of new children.  The thing is when they start out in the program, their all shorter than me.  But as the years progress most of them become taller than me.  Not that I set much of a high mark to pass (5 7), but still, it’s depressing.

Life’s a game and I don’t play by excuses or blame the others rules.

It’s clear you’re not the hero type, for in a pressure situation; you’re out for your self-preservation only, and to d*m with the rest of us.  Thou you will freeze from indecision anyhow, so you’re doomed.

With life we all developed different levels of experience.  That being said, don’t ass(u)me I don’t know something when in fact I know it better than you.  Something to consider in you dealings with people, I try to figure out a person before I make a determination of their abilities.

I’m always in the past, just can’t be bothered with the present.

You think that by doing things your way, instead of the correct way, you’re doing us a favor.  Not so much, especially if it creates more work for the rest of us.  Sometimes there are good reason for following procedure, for the process has already been worked out.  Besides it was tried your way before, turned out poorly for all those involved.

People tend to fall into three psychological types, all differently motivated.  There is the type, motivated by economic factors, money…and there is the type motivated by “face” or pride.  This type is a spender, fighter, boaster, lover, sportsman, gambler; he has a will to power and an itch for glory.  And there is the professional type, which claims to follow a code of ethics rather than simply seeking money or glory – priests and ministers, teachers, scientists, medical men, some artists and writers.  The idea is that such a man believes that he is devoting his life to some purpose more important than his individual self.  By: Robert A Heinlein, Space Cadet, 1948.

I would say that I need glasses, but I’m already wearing them, so now what’s my excuse?

I wasn’t great at it, but I was functional and it got done.

In college I lived in the Mackin Complex and it was more than a reality, it was a state of mind.

Eclipse

Just because you’re covered, doesn’t mean you’re covered completely.  For even the best of roofs can have holes in them.

I have no patience and I lack understanding with phone systems.  Plus they don’t really regret keeping me waiting.  And no, I don’t believe you when you tell me you recently changed your prompts, I think you just want to suck me further into oblivion!

I don’t do everything, always, but sometimes maybe.

Post #1350

I need to hire a plumber to fix my outhouse.  The crap is really piling up in there.  The Joys of a Cabin In The Woods.

It obvious you’re an idiot; however that doesn’t mean I’m entitled to express an opinion about it.  You’d ignore it anyhow, that’s how it works.

I mentioned to a coworker that I was spending $1200 getting something fixed on my van.  His reply, “I could have gotten it done for you for half that amount.”  Interesting statement since I didn’t say what work I was actually doing on the car and why did he ass(u)me I wasn’t already getting it for half the price?  Prior to making that kind of statement, a little info might be advisable before you make an offer to get it cheaper.  Plus sometimes, cheaper an’t always better, you can get what you pay for in too many ways that aren’t necessary in your favor.

There are plenty of hours in the day to get nothing done at my Cabin In The Woods.

Once while camping with my family I was walking down a road toward one of my siblings and their ex-spouse when a bear came out onto the road behind them.  Before I could utter b b b bear behind you, it went b b b back into the woods.  It was a brief encounter.

Their smell cleared the room out like a skunk letting it loose in an outhouse.

I have to hold everyone to a different standard than myself, why?, why not. 😉

Video

If you’re going to give your child the first name of Unique, you should at least spell it UNeekly.

I’m all about conservation of energy, therefore, sleeping fits right into the scheme.

“Were all adults here” is an interesting phrase.  For some of us adults take responsibility for their actions, while the rest of the adults don’t.  If you did it, own it, don’t try and put blame elsewhere.

I just say silly stupid things; I don’t actually do them, that’s an important distinction.

My child was showing me their schedule for their first college semester on the laptop.  It got me to thinking about when I was signing up for classes; I was in an actual line as opposed to online.  You would wait your turn in the hope to get a punch card for the classes you wanted to get in, in a big auditorium with thousands of your fellow classmates.  The only terminals you were looking at were the people freaking out when they didn’t get the classes they wanted.  It wasn’t until my last semester there that the school finally retired the punch cards for a more modern computer system and even then someone else worked the computer.

I guess they’re trying, cause I sure the h*ll an’t.

When I was wrapping up college, I needed three classes to complete my degree, but I needed a fourth one to get assistance so I decided to take Modern Marriage.  I guess people were in the habit of skipping this class for the professor had a rule, three absents and you automatically failed.  So being I didn’t need this class to graduate and I had classes that I had to pass, I failed, but I must have learned something thou since I’ve been with my spouse for almost 31 years.

After I graduated and left the college I got a letter from them that I was on academic warning for the next semester.  I guess they hadn’t computerized that process yet.

They can make it look pretty; I’ll just make it functional.

Ever get the feeling that the more stuff you have, the less whole you feel?  It’s like you need something more that things just don’t help with.  Problem is figuring out what it is you really need.