Don’t take things so literally for sometimes you need to think.  The correct answer may not be the right one for the current situation and require an alternate solution.

At work the other day we were having power problems.  So management decided to let everyone go home but needed one person to stay in case the power returned.  One of my coworkers has this poor pitiful me martyr complex, so when we were deciding who would stay, they say, “I always get the short end of the straw”, so I volunteered.  I wasn’t gonna feed that complex at all.

Just because you don’t understand a concept doesn’t mean it isn’t valid, maybe try and open your mind to new things.

I hate it when I find out that I know more than I thought I did.

Post #1600

First world problem, can’t read the small print because you forgot your glasses.  Third world problem, can’t read even if they had glasses.

Someone said to me “I want you to do it my way”, problem with that is when I look in the mirror I wasn’t them, but me, so I’ll do it my way thank you.

In the time you spent discussing/whining and complaining that something didn’t get done.  I just went ahead and did it.  How about trying that approach next time and not be afraid of doing too much since you work too hard already, yeah sure, keep telling yourself that.  Or perhaps go to my Cabin In The Woods to figure it out.

I was dreaming that I was in a specific church for services, that doesn’t exist anymore, being said by a priest who isn’t around anymore.  When it was over I went outside to find my car, which I don’t have anymore.  I wasn’t able to find it, so I went to a nearby mall, which an’t around anymore either.  What was this dream trying to tell me?

I’m as sharp as the hammer end of a nail.

First world problem, no signal to see your favorite tweets.  Third world problem, no way to signal for help.

I did a face lift over the weekend, when I lifted my face off the pillow in the morning.

Recently I had to install a new water heater, usually a simple but expensive process.  Not for me thou.  Back in the past when my old one was installed they reversed the flow of water from its normal course.  So when the new plumber came in, they set it up the normal way and turned it on.  It then proceeded to blow 10 years of muck out of my boiler and into my hot water stream.  What a mess!  It took a week to get the hot water to look clear again.

We all like to control things; however wisdom comes when you realize and accept that it’s not always possible to and then learn to go with the flow.

Ever stare at the floor and wonder as to the why of it?

First world problem, too much to eat.  Third world problem, no food.

Question, do you want me to help you?  Or are you contacting me just to act like an idiot?  Take your time with the answer.

The issue got just as much attention as it deserved, which was none, since it’s a nonissue only relevant in your delusions.  Off to my Cabin In The Woods.

 

Sometimes when I’m thinking I have to stand up to get the pressure off my brain.

I know a lot of everything not to know.

First world problem, no hot water.  Third world problem, no water.

It’s well past time to change the status quo, time to shake things up and get things done.  Not this crap that’s going on now.

I’m sorry you’re so sorry.

Speculative Bullsh*t is an annoying habit people have picked up in this age of information overload and the 24 hour news cycle.  If they would just wait for actual accurate information to come out, life would improve greatly.  But instead they speculate as to what may have occurred, based on nothing, and try to pass it off as facts.

Maybe “news organizations” should chill and go back to reporting the news twice a day.  That way they can sort out the information and get it right beforehand and not have to clean up their bullsh*t after the fact.  For in the time of the internet, once it’s out there, it stays, regardless of its falsehood, some conspiracy nut will turn it into what they want to hear.

My job is to get the information out.  Not to study and understand it.  That is not a necessary requirement.

Their so cute in their naivety of their place in the food chain of reality.  They would at the very least have to get here on time before they can even begin to be in the running.

You know it’s easy to be happy when you’re delusional.

Feeling entitled, time to smell the reality that you’re not.

It’s not always the receiving end that’s the issue, sometimes it’s the sender that’s screwing up.  Like misspelling the destination where your item is headed.

It’s easy to get something done fast, for anyone can half azz it.

Post #1575

Everything the matter when nothing is actually wrong.

I can only stand up so many times a day from a sitting position, so don’t ask me to do so and you then waste my attempts when it isn’t necessary.  I don’t want to get stuck in the sitting position unless I’m going to sleep in my Cabin In The Woods.

Called a doctor’s office and their system said I am position 1, instead of first in line.  I’m confused; I don’t think I know how to do position 1?  What does it entail?  I think I’m afraid.  I may need a manual, what if I was position 2 or 3 etc., what then?  Sounds like a big commitment to me for a simple phone call.

Sometimes extra help is of no help at all and should be declined.

Everyone is full of imperfections and those who think they’re not, even more so.

I have the most unread blog in the country; it’s the best example of how not to bring attention to oneself.

I know that person is really out there since I am and they passed me by on their way out.

As a co-worker was leaving they asked I pray for them, my response, but who’s going to pray for me?  For it an’t going to be me.

Be careful of what you don’t want, for you might just get it.  So to my Cabin In The Woods pronto!

I find incentives to be a disincentive, just saying.

They said it was taken “out of context”, that’s not so if their context is different than yours.  But if their trying to screw you, well then yes.

I don’t know what’s going on, but then that’s nothing unusual.

Apparently a couple of days ago my 18 year old was cleaning out their car trunk and for some reason put their road flairs and first aid kit on the roof of my van and forgot about them.  Then a few days later they ask me if I had these items.  Ah, nope, why would I have been looking for things on top of my van?  I guess someone out there got free flairs and a first aid kit.

You’re not so important that you can’t wait.

One of my co-workers reminded another one that it was time for their break.  Their response, oh, I had forgotten that.  After they got back I asked them why did they remind them, after all we just got them settled down to do some actual work and you broke that up.

Someone sent out an email with the opening line, “I was recently married, but here’s the proof that this is still me.”  I sorry, did you lose your identity when you got married?  That’s not a good thing, you’re still an individual, don’t become the other person.

We can sit here and play the blame game all day if you’d like.  Or you can just tell me what went wrong and I’ll fix it and we’ll go with our lives in short order.

What’s one to do when all their saviors are gone?

One service I worked for was operated with volunteers.  So we had a set structure of elected officials who ran the ambulance business end.  One position we had was Member at Large.  Well at one point the person who occupied this position was rather large, so we retitled the position Large Member for the duration of their tenure.  Perhaps in today’s climate we shouldn’t have done so, but oh well.

In a time of crisis, I’ll listen to your suggestions, but it is ultimately my decision to make alone.

With arms wide closed!  That’s how it works at my Cabin In the Woods.

I should write a book and titled it, “How To Be Alone In A Room Full Of People”.

Work with the tools you’re provided with.  If in the future you get better tools then great, but until then keep going with what you have.

There is a website that will test you for STD’s confidentially.  On their phone system it mentions their loyal returning customers; do they get a loyalty or rewards card?  I don’t think I want to be a loyal customer of this site.  They also offer discounts for testing of couples, so the couple that tests together, stays together?  Very bazar.  Do they also give discounts if you have more than one STD?  And if you get the trifecta are the test is free?  My spouse keeps telling me to say STI instead of STD, I’ll consider it, maybe.

One winter while reading water meters a full timer there tried to put his girlfriend and her child on his medical insurance.  But since he wasn’t married to her and the child wasn’t his the town declined his request.  Of course he took it very personal and bitched up a storm; his sense of entitlement was high.  Well a couple of years later the person responsible for enrolling dependents retired.  So he of course applied to put his girlfriend/child on the insurance again and the new person who put it through did not yet fully understand the rules of the insurance.  Well when the insurance company asked for documentation that these individuals were in fact legitimate dependents, there was of course none.  When his boss found out, they knew the employee had tried this in the past and had been clearly told no and yet went ahead and did it again.  So they had him arrested for fraud and fired.  He should have just married her.  So he lost his job, but got a new place to live for 3 to 5 years.  It’s one thing when you can claim ignorance, it’s entirely different when you purposely commit the fraud, thinking that no one will notice, because you’re convinced you’re the only one that’s right, even after the jail door slams behind you.

Post #1550

There’s a lot to say and no one to hear any of it.

Someone is getting their urine tested and their last name is Golden.  What’s the issue?  Perhaps their stream isn’t golden enough?

People like to say, “I can’t see bringing a child into the world as it is today”; like they’re the first to ever come up with this thought.  Sorry to tell you, but people have been saying this every day, week, month, decade, century and guess what, the world still sucks and most likely will never be up to your standards.  That’s why the rest of us have kids, we know.  Perhaps maybe if you don’t want to have kids of your own, then adopt a child that is already here.  For the world is really sucking for them right now.

Problem with all in one devices; is that when it breaks, usually inconveniently, it’s all or nothing.

I’m not a smart man, I’m not a stupid man, I’m just a man in search of a Cabin In the Woods.

A job where you’re telling people no more than yes is not worth having.  People don’t want to hear no, it upsets them and they can’t handle the rejection.  They then take it out on you, even though you’re telling the truth.  Now a job where you’re helping and saying yes I can do that for you, that’s a place where you want to be.

You’re so sure you know what the other person wants before they tell you, but you don’t because you’re not f**kin listening to what their saying.  You have already decided what you’re going to do.  Stop; then listen; then make your “informed” decision; it’ll cut down on a lot of frustration on both sides.

I’m a relatively normal abnormal person, how about you?

I’ve forgotten most of what I don’t remember.

I was camping with my youth group back in the day and the woods we were in were bordering a corn field.  One of my fellow campers notice a VW Bug parked in the opposite corner of the field and since we weren’t doing anything we decided to investigate.  As we approached the Bug it was clear it was a rockin and a rollin.  Turns out there was a couple in the Bug in their birthday suits getting buzy.  They were very surprised when they were surrounded by a group of wide eyed teens.  I guess they thought they were in a place where no one was, nope.  There was a bit of screaming by her trying to cover up as he tried to drive away as fast as he could, I guess they bugged out.

When I note an account in my employers computer system I make that note short and to the point.  For the more you write, the more rope you give them to hang you with if they think you made a mistake.

I’m in my own little world, but then aren’t we all?

Nothing I own isn’t someone else’s.

Sorry, but I see you for who you are and in your case, I can’t be accepting of it.

I can’t do the big things anymore, so the little things are going to have to suffice.

I rented an apartment in an 1800’s era farm house, there’s no point in saying the house was old, but I did have a skeleton key for my door.  It was so close to the road in the front that it felt like passing cars were driving thru it.  The road was probably a trail when the house was built, but it had grown.  At one point a friend was staying with me.  They lived way out in the country, so weren’t use to sounds of traffic.  A tractor trailer rolled by and they thought it was an earth quake.  By this point I was oblivious to the noise and shaking.  I guess if I lived in a Cabin In The Woods like him, I would have thought it was an earthquake to.

There’s no such thing as unlimited, for theirs a bottom to every well.

When I was but a mere child, CB’s were all the rage.  I begged my parents for one that Christmas.  My parents couldn’t afford a “real” one so they bought me a cheaper version that also had an AM radio built in.  I was totally thrilled with it and I probably listened to the radio more than the CB.  I even got into the habit of putting the ear piece under my pillow in the morning and listening to the Wired Woodshed “Grab it, slam it and we’ll see you in the morning”.  I also imagined the Wired Woodshed was covered in chicken wire.  I’d even DJ by broadcasting my favorite songs over the CB and acting like a radio station from my tape recorder; that I had recorded from the radio.  The only thing missing was the Rubber Duck.  Other than that, what a time I had!

I was reading a feel good story about a little boy whose only wish for Christmas was to see his big brother who’s in the Marines.  His brother found this out and managed to get leave and surprised him at his elementary school.  While this is a happy story, it saddens me.  For I wish to see certain people one more time and I know it will never happen.  Like my Mom, Dad, Kovacs, Uncle Roger, Jackie and so on and so forth.  However you can’t always get what you wish for in life.

I was at work on the third story of an eight story building when the power went out.  It was an annoying and a “what now” moment.  Then a thick plume of smoke passes by our windows, and it then becomes an “oh sh*t” moment.  Once the panic subsided it was determined that the diesel generator had kicked in.  Of course no one was aware we had one, but we got the knowledge, in a scary kind of way.

You’re the only one saying this about that person, so I’m going to air on the side of caution and decide you’re an idiot.

I love videos of people over reacting to getting pulled over by the police and acting like a spoiled two year old.  How dare someone apply the rules to them!  Their special, for their mommy told them so!  But if someone does something to them, they’ll be the first to demand the rule of law be applied in its fullness.  Well that too bad, you can’t have it both ways.  Time to move to my Cabin In The Woods.

One of my children posted a video to YouTube when they were around 10 years old of them hitting a home run.  Over the years they’d forgotten about it.  Well today they looked it up to discover it has over 20,000 views.  But what amazed them the most, as they put it, “25 people took time out of their day to dislike the video”.  The video is a cute example of little kids trying to play baseball, what’s not to like.

When I bought my house it didn’t have a door bell so I bought a wireless one.  From time to time it would ring, but no one would be there and we wondered what was going on?  It turned out our neighbor across the street had the same door bell and we were both on the same frequency.  So we were annoying them as much as they were annoying us.  I invested in a hard wired doorbell to halt the insanity.

Pride is for those who can afford it.  So if you need help, just ask.

Post #1525

Sometimes it sucks to stick your head out of your warm and safe bubble of denial and experience reality.

A trained monkey can do this job, but I’m not certain you are up to that standard thou.

On my first Christmas with my then girlfriend (now spouse) I wanted to give her diamond earrings, but I didn’t want to just give her a box with them in, I wanted to do something different.  So I racked my brain and did some searching and found a small teddy bear wearing a t shirt that said “I Have A Secret”.  So I put the diamonds in its ears and wrapped it.  When they opened it, it took them a few moments to figure it out, but the surprise was worth it.

Sometimes it’s easier to love someone than to actually like them.

Don’t stress out over sh*t you can’t control.  What’s the point?  It prevents you from living your life and robs you of sleep.  Better to just accept it and move on.

At one summer camp that I worked at, the campers and counselors would have a talk about anything before they all went to sleep.  It’s was a way for a group of strangers to get to know each other better.  They would share stories about who they were and where they came from.  Well one child shared troubling stories of being abused by their father.  According to the counselors the stories were very convincing and they, as required, reported them to the camp director.  By law, the director then reported it to the authorities.  This is when it became even weirder.  The child’s father was the authority for the State, actually heading that department.  So it turned out that this child was looking for special attention and repeated stories they had heard their father mention.  I thought the father handled it very well when he arrived to pick up the child.  He didn’t make a fuss or even let on that he was aware of what his child had done.  He also stepped back and let the investigation happen without interference.  I wonder if he thought of a Cabin In The Woods when all of this went down?

A client sends in an order with general instructions, but no specifics as to what they actually want.  I then hear a co-worker, in an attempt to appease the client, create an opinion as to what “may have” happen based on no real information or proof and try to sell it as if they were correct in their ass(u)mptions.  Their then throwing co-workers under the bus for not ass(u)ming what the client wanted, but rather doing what was indicated.  They seriously need to zip it until they have facts, not come up with wild theories about co-workers when the client never gave specifics to begin with.  After all, the client screwed up and they should be made to understand that, politely, so that in the future they’ll be more specific.

By my co-worker spewing their verbal diarrhea in the end is a bad plan, for the client will come back and say, so and so said such and such.  Now a manager is going to have to deal with the mess of their ass(u)mptions, before, they can even correct the issues.

I follow the rules as close enough to the edge as possible.

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Question?  Please define truth?  There appears to be many forms of it one has to deal with.  How is their truthiness more truth than mine?  Why do five people say one person is telling the truth, but then one insists their lying, how do they know?  People insist their telling the truth all the time, when it’s clear their lying, are they doing either?  My truth of the matter can collide with theirs, who’s to say either is wrong?  Also I don’t think it’s a matter of opinions, rather just truth.

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I’ll take the new please.

You have been diagnosed with an injury that’s a direct result of your actions or lack thereof.  But you feel the strong need to sue someone else to get money from them because they have it and you want it, despite the truth they aren’t involved in the outcome of your situation.  For you believe someone owes you and you don’t care who pays for your actions, as long as it isn’t you, for your life is someone else’s responsibility.

If you have to ask that question, then you’ll never understand the answer.

Heard a salesman state that their stuff is always fresh.  But the only thing fresh about their rhetoric is the steam off their bullsh*t.

I once meet a young man who in their first 18 months of driving seemed to get in accident after accident because of his recklessness and disregard for his fellow driver and humans in general.  I unfortunately meet him because his parents were in desperate need of an assigned risk auto policy, because their insurer wanted to cancel them if they didn’t remove him from their policy.  All he wanted to know when he met me was, if he got a sportier car, would it cost more to insure.  He wasn’t paying the bill, so why should he care.  He had little regard for how his actions affected others; it was clearly all about him.  People like him are a main motivator for me to have a Cabin In The Woods.

He got chlamydia, his last name is Johnson, so, he got it by sticking his Johnson in the wrong place?

Eventually you’ll get to a point in your life where things no longer go up hill.

The shorter the…

You always have my permission to leave.  However, if you want to come back, now that an’t up to me.

What’s the cheapest part of venison?  The deer balls.  Why?  Because they’re under a buck.

The more I know, the less I want to.

Ebb and flow of the life of a hermit blogger.  Sometimes the ideas fly out of me, other times it’s a slow drip.  Either way I still want my Cabin In The Woods.