I guess I’m not a company man.  I am who I am and don’t define myself by my job.  That’s why a Cabin In The Woods is so attractive.

I’m not avoiding work; I’m avoiding life, what of it!

People don’t understand why anyone would want to live in a remote northern location.  I do, it is to get away from these same people.

Let’s rock the boat to see who falls off.

I really don’t need you to believe in what I’m saying.  I was there and know the reality that you don’t.

Yeah I get it, everyone is out to get you, but what if that is actually not the case?  Maybe you’re just paranoid and delusional.

I love it when I come across a remote that I have no idea what’s it for.  I was cleaning out some stuff and came across three remotes and no one knew their purpose.  So why was I even hanging onto to them?

I’d like to think that a certain someone who I consider a friend gives a sh*t, but I know that they don’t.

Post #800

They take credit for everything, h*ll they took credit for my bowel movement this morning.

If people are worshiping you instead of doing it for themselves, then you deserve each other.

People ask why do I inflict my Blog on the world?  I don’t, you don’t have to read it and be just like the other 99.999999999999% who can’t be bothered to read it either.

I enjoy watching the shows where greedy conman steal money from people with false promises and then see how their greed brings them down.  Now there are true victims of these people and I feel sorry for them that they trusted the other.  But then there are the greedy victims who should have known better but believe they have found that pot of gold and keep putting more and more money into the scam.  Then are shocked when they realized they were scammed.  I know they fell for a conman, but it was their greed that lead the way and clouded their decisions.  As the old saying goes, if it sounds too good to be true….   Plus never put all your eggs into one basket, even if it appears to be made of gold.

Was I born yesterday, no, however the day before, perhaps.

I hate it when an employer states they want to develop the talent of their employees.  What are we a new product line?  You going to sell us to highest bidder once done?

*I wish I was…

*But I’m not…

*So why wish?

Owning a fancy car means one of two things, either you can afford it or you have a need for people to think you can.

When you’re in love for all the wrong reasons, you’ll get back the wrong results every time.

If you put in 5 seconds of effort you’ll get your rebate.  However even this is more effort than some people are willing to put in.  They want that “Instant Gratification”, you can’t always get that.

How big a dick are they?  That’s a matter of perspective.  Since one person’s perceived dick is another’s perceived savior.

It’s 2 days before Christmas and all through the mall parking lot, people are driving like maniacs and that quiet mouse did not have a chance!  Plus Tiny Tim is now a hood ornament!  I dare not go inside for fear of my life!  So I hop into my mini van and run to my Cabin In The Woods, for people are just plain nuts and now Rudolph is running for his life, for someone wants to kill him and mount him on their wall.  So pieces to all and good will to the survivors!

I don’t think they will ever have what would be considered a normal life.  So we should be accepting of that.

I always listen even when others pay no attention to what I’m saying.

I guess this is no place for an independent soul.  So why conform, I’ll just move on to a more accepting place, you guessed it, to my Cabin In The Woods.

When you keep letting people go who are perceived in a positive light by their coworkers, then all that’s accomplished is to destroy the company morale as the rest fret over whose next.

An Accountant, Doctor and Teacher enter a bathroom to take a leak.  The Accountant finishes first washes their hands and takes one piece of paper towel to dry their hands.  Then the Doctor finishes and uses 10 pieces of paper towel.  The Accountant then says I was taught to be thrifty, to which the doctor responds I was taught to be thorough.  Then the Teacher walks by both of them and out the door and says along the way, I was taught not to pee on my hands.

*Ever have a contest to see who can write their name in the snow faster?

I can never be so right, that I’m not wrong.

One fall weekend during the “Age of the Blackberry” my children’s youth group was out camping.  On the agenda was a hike in the nearby terrain.  At the end of the hike one of the parents realized that he had lost his Blackberry.  Being he could have dropped it anywhere on the trail during the 3+ mile hike there was a slight groan, it wasn’t flat terrain.  First we asked the Ranger if anyone had turned in a phone, no such luck.  So we then proceeded to retrace the hike dialing his phone # over and over again, since he wasn’t sure if it was on, while others just looked.  Finally about a ½ mile into the hike we heard it ringing.  It was buried under a pile of leaves on the trail and no one would have seen it until spring.  This parent is a lawyer and all his contacts were on this phone.  During the search he mentioned that he had always meant to backup that info.  Wonder if he ever did?

On another trip that I wasn’t on, another parent did the same thing.  The group searched in vain to locate that phone.  After getting home the parent found the phone in his backpack.  I would have never admitted that to anyone or the group who wasted their time looking for it, when he had it all the time.

Mine is a processed world (life) and I don’t care.  Should you?

You can count on me 23 hours of the day, 6 days of the week, I’m always there.

I can’t stand my friends anymore; I need a whole new set.  Is there a store for this?

I was telling a funny story on how I kind of got tricked into seeing a singer perform to an acquaintance.  Their response was “Oh I hate that singer” I wasn’t asking your opinion of them, I was telling a funny sorry.  Get over yourself, pleaze.

*To be all consumed with something…

*To the point that nothing else matters…

*Is a very destructive behavior…

*I should know…

I’m sick of the dancing around with you as you get all the steps wrong. All you’re doing is stepping on my toes and asking the same question over and over again, in different ways, so please just stop it.

Post #775

I don’t write about every stupid little thing that pops into my head, just most of them.

I go under the premise that everyone lies, that’s until the truth suits their needs.

Hello darkness, my old friend.  This time around I have the knowledge of light to subdue your effects.

I gave the impression that I was playing by the rules, when in reality I was only playing with them.

They refuse to accept the situation as it is, and I refuse to care either way.

He drained and cleaned the pool from the winter debris and refilled it with clean water for a fresh start.  But he failed to check the filter and turned the pump on.  Thus filling the pool with all that he had forgotten and destroying all his hard work in the process with a simple missed revelation.

You’re not going to get me to beg for something I didn’t want in the first place.  Nor am I going to feel bad now that it’s gone.  It’s time for the next phase.

God I’m good at making bad decisions.  I recently made one that I knew wasn’t going to turn out well and I was right!  Time for a new direction to be determined for me; without their interference.  Perhaps I should consider this in my Cabin In The Woods?

Someone once told me that I’m behind the curve on the latest things, my answer; exactly.

One time at summer camp I was filling out a claim form for one of the male counselors who got sick.  He was and probably still is a horndog so in the spot that indicted patient sex on the form I put in often.  I thought it was funny.  The insurance company didn’t and sent it back for correction.  Those insurance companies need a sense of humor.

1) Customers

2) The Boss

3) Phones ringing

4) Chatty co-workers

5) Writing this Blog

6) Hunger pains

7) Email

8) Having to pay attention

9) Computer

10) Actually caring

You have been too busy in life accumulating stuff, thinking it will make you happy and still you’re not. However you’ve missed what’s really important to your soul and you won’t find it at the bottom of a bottle. Your mind needs to be clear to find it.

I refuse to believe people are really “that stupid”, but then I’ve been proven wrong time and again.

We’re in the process of putting up our Christmas tree and we can’t seem to get it standing straight.  Well upon further investigation into the problem, it turns out the tree has scoliosis.  When you look through the branches at the trunk it’s in the shape of a S.  Despite this flaw, it’s still our Christmas tree Charlie Brown.

We all know that doing certain acts is extremely rude and we wouldn’t normally do them.  Unless of course it suited our selfish needs and desires at the time.  Another reason for my Cabin In The Woods.

One warm summer afternoon while sitting outside the nurses office at camp I could hear the screams and yells of the fun the children were sending out into the world, not at all uncommon sound for a summer camp.  But then from the mist of this background noise I heard a different kind of scream and yell and it was clearly not joy, but pain.  So I headed in its general direction knowing I was about to become busy.  Turns out one of the campers was headed down some stairs and proceeded to fall and break their leg in the process.  It’s amazing how not really listening to the sounds of camp in the background; that this scream jumped out at me as abnormal.

I got myself convinced of something that is never going to happen, I hate that.

We can only work as fast as your procrastination will allow us.  So don’t complain about our process time when it takes you months to respond to our request in the first place.  Asking us to speed it up isn’t going to happen when you haven’t extended the same courtesy.

That’s just not a fantasy I’m willing to work with, however, if you’d like to work in reality with us, then I can help you.  However since you’re currently operating in a fantasy world, we would only be guessing and what’s the point of that?  You’d never be happy with our help anyhow, at least until you see the light of day.

Someone stated to me that we misrepresented what they choose not to read, come again?  If you didn’t bother to read it, exactly how was it misrepresented?  You can’t claim to have been deceived if you were never told or read anything that you might base this decision on?  My Cabin In The Woods pleaze!

I don’t feel like myself today, if that’s the case, then who am I?

Just because you have learned a technical term doesn’t mean you understand the concept.  What makes me certain you don’t know what you’re talking about is you stated this was a State rule, when in fact it’s Federal.  Probably can’t spell it correctly either.

*If you take life at full speed…

*You get a full life…

*If you take it a half speed…

*You get half a life…

*As I have discovered…

Someone stated out a conversation yelling the phrase, “You need to just handle my situation!”  Ok, but one question, what situation?  My ignorance is bliss when it comes to you.

I suffer from short term memory loss, I think?

Post #750

When I got home from work the other day my mother in law, who has Alzheimer’s, asked for money.  So I asked her what did she need it for?  She said; just to have some.  I was OK with that so I gave her a dollar, she looks at it and says, “That’s it?”  They say people with her condition retain their long term memory and she’s forgotten who we are, but apparently she hasn’t forgotten money.

Someone left healthy food on my desk today.  But I was able to get rid of it before anyone noticed.  Thusly saving my hard earned reputation!

Claimant wanted to know if we could reimburse them for the fuel they put in the rental car they trashed and didn’t use.  Ah, no and please stopped sniffing it, it’s causing you to be delusional.

In my high school yearbook I got voted, “They Went Here?”

I have a coworker who feels the need to make a show of things.  Today was their birthday and their desk is covered by flowers etc. so everyone knows it’s her birthday.  Thing is, none of her coworkers got her anything, she self-promoted it all.  Do you really need 8 mylar happy birthday balloons over your cubicle?  When she purchased a new car, she was walking around showing everyone pictures of it.  I don’t recall anyone asking to see them.

On one bitter cold early Sunday morning in February while camping, I went to warm up my car when I realized that I had locked my keys in it, yet again.  Being I was camping in the middle of nowhere it was a definite “Oh Sh*t” moment!  I approached the camp Ranger for help and they said they could try, but could not guarantee anything.  So while waiting for them to arrive I approached a couple of random adults who were standing in the parking lot and jokingly asked if any of them knew how to break into a car.  One answered that it was my lucky day.  He apparently was a locksmith and had my car open before I could say thank you.  So it went from an “Oh Sh*t”, to a “Thank God” moment.  I was extremely lucky that day for staying in my Cabin In The Woods.

Whenever I think I’m better than another person I realize that is a silly notion.  For as soon as you believe in your superiority, is when you’re not.

I have irritable bowel syndrome, my bowels are irritating the hell out of me!

Someone called and stated, “You people are irritating the hell out of me.”  One problem with that statement, you’re calling the wrong place, so you actually irritating the hell out of yourself.

My employer recently moved and this is greatly upsetting people that our mail is being forwarded.  The main hub of the USPS is literally next door and it still takes them a week to forward.  Anyhow, they demand to know why we moved.  Well it’s simple really; we did it just to inconvenience you.  That’s why we spent all that money, we don’t like you and wanted to ruin your day.  It’s not like we out grew our old space.

*Can anyone hear me?

*Does anyone care?

*Is anyone out there?

*If no one hears me?

*How can they respond?

Some say I gossip, I can’t say their wrong, I think it’s in my genes or is that jeans?

You’re submitting incomplete forms to us thinking we’ll pay.  You can’t pick and choose what information you want to provide and expect us to make a decision with it.  If that was the case we won’t be specific in our requests.

I heard someone say “this person is as dumb as a stick!”  Wait a minute, let’s not insult the stick!

I don’t want to look back, but then I also don’t want to look forward.  I just want to look sideways and live in denial.  Who wants blinders?

Listen and you will learn.  Talk and you will not.

The malls of my youth are all long gone along with my innocence. So what do I do now?  Cabin In The Woods perhaps?

People will just keep saying goodbye to me at the end of a phone call.  Stop saying goodbye, were not a couple, saying it once is more than enough.

This person is a little weird for me.  Then I’m a little weird for me to.  So shouldn’t I be picky.

Anyhow…. as I was saying to nobody in particular…..

Someone called who wants to go to Jamaica, but is afraid of getting sick and being treated there.  I advised their plan pays for the transport home for medical issues, once the doctors there determine you’re stable enough to be transported.  They wanted to know if there was a way to be just transported home, by passing the local medical care.  Nope, we will only pay for transport once you’re well enough to travel, thou you can pay for it yourself.  If you are so concerned over this can I make a suggestion?  Don’t go!

I love being blamed for rules made up by someone else, it just makes my day.  Please don’t shoot the messenger.

I work with an individual that can be a nice person on the surface, but there is a certain amount of meanness and bitterness flowing underneath the surface.  I wonder what has occurred in their life to make them that way?

If silence is golden, then action must be platinum!

If you’re so controlling that you have to have your spouse call us and then are screaming at them directions from the background so they get your questions answered.  One thing needs to happen, your spouse needs to move on with their life and hand you the phone, banshee!

Post #725

My employer recently hired identical twins, which has caused a little confusion for some, not really a surprise.  I was aware of them since I saw them the first day they started to work here.  But a coworker didn’t know and approached me one day about the new girl and that he noticed she would change cloths during the day and thought she might be a bit vain.  He was very embarrassed when I pointed out that she was a twin and they both worked here.

Being a dick is not going to get you what you want from me.  I’m not going to reward you for your bad behavior, so move on.

Don’t you just want to slap people who are cheery in the morning!

You can only lead the ignorant so far, eventually if they won’t listen they’ll walk into that wall of reality they’re in denial of.

One of my coworkers recently did a radical hair style change, I couldn’t do that, can’t be bothered with the up keep. I’ve had the same hair style for some 30 years now and the only real change that has occurred is that I have less hair now than I had back then.

My mother in law has been living with me for years now and she has no idea who anyone is, I miss her. She’s a great lady who went back to school and raised 5 children on her own (ages 6 to 16) after my father in law passed in his early 40’s. Anyhow, one of her children has never set foot in my house since she arrived here. I know everyone reacts differently to illness of a love one, but I’ve often wondered if they ever regret staying away? Even if she doesn’t know you, doesn’t mean you should forget her. It would also be nice if just some of her grandchildren even stopped by. It’s all kind of sad.

I can only tell you what happiness isn’t, as for happiness itself that defies definition.

We all have our demons that we have to deal with to get through life. One of my great curiosities has been creative people with tremendous gifts and them then dying of drug over doses. With all that life has given them, what was missing for them? I know you need more than things to be happy, but they offered so much to us, what was it they needed that they couldn’t find anywhere else except in the haze of drugs? Was there others ways they could have found what they needed to fill that void? I understood what it is I feel that I’m missing in my life and have figured out how to work through it. How I was able to arrive at this personal understanding, but they never were able to? Maybe because I stayed in my reality; didn’t look for an escape from it and worked my way through it. Look at one of favorite singers, Whitney Houston, her success was epic, her down fall was complete.

I was watching Billy Crystal’s 700 Sundays tonight and it was a well done and heartfelt tribute to his parents. At one point he mentions how after his mother died he was an orphan. I have long felt this way before he ever expressed it. I miss my parents often and wish I could just call and talk to them. I remember the last time I talked to my Mom and even though she was dying, she recognized my voice. I’ve always treasured that conversation. Thou my Dad’s passing wasn’t a surprise, it was still devastating just the same and I lost it. No matter how old you are their still Mom and Dad and their loss always hurts. For me it’s been more than 700 Sundays since my Dad died and I wish for just one more.

I was once told by a psychic that every time a see a Cardinal, it’s my Dad checking up on me. I can live with that, even if I don’t necessarily buy into it, I like saying “Hi Dad” when I see a Cardinal land nearby. It brings a certain amount of comfort to me.

I was assisting a customer with their travel insurance the other day when she shared a story of her travels. Apparently she is an avid scuba diver and once while doing a night dive off Jamaica, the crew failed to do a head count and left her stranded 2 ½ miles off shore. Most people would be scared sh*tless, she saw it as an adventure. She inflated her floatie and swam ashore. I just loved her attitude, it was oh well, guess I’m swimming. She even said the crew was probably smoking weed and that’s why they hadn’t noticed. I need her attitude and zest for life.

Once I was there, then I left, can I ever go back?

You have to understand the flow and rhythm of life. Failure to do so is when you begin to bang your head against the rocks and fail to learn from the experience.

They have developed their own concepts of the world: reason, common sense and a sense of responsibility don’t seem to have been included.

There’s limits to everything and perhaps that’s the part I don’t like. Yes I read The Secret, I don’t buy into it. If there is enough for everyone, then way did the people involved with production of The Secret sue each other for more? Weren’t they happy with what the universe had given them? Maybe the book should have been called The Sharing, where the really rich people share with the rest of us? For The Secret is never going to happen when The Greedy take more than they need.

Has anyone else figured out how many ways you can say the same thing and still say nothing, besides politicians?

I went camping a long time ago during a cold February with my youth group at one of our favorite haunts. We were staying in a cabin next to a frozen swamp. The camp ranger stopped by and it turned out he was really good at telling scary stories. At one point he had our complete attention when he said; suddenly there was a noise and at that exact moment one of the sleeping adults let out a loud snore. That scared the crap out of us. Of course no one would admit to being scared of the Jason character living in the swamp next door and taking children that was being spoken of. Though the ranger did mention two remedies to stay safe; hockey sticks and books left by the entrances to the cabin would keep him away. It was amazing how quickly these items did appear by the doors. But then we weren’t afraid of the boogie man outside; that was until the lights went out.

A claimant called upset about the amount we paid on their claim. Now people threaten to send their lawyers after us all the time. This person then got weirder; they threaten us with Trayvon Martins lawyer? Can’t make this kind of crazy up, whoever this lawyer might be, I don’t think they specialize in insurance law. When the representative didn’t respond to their threat, they got even more upset. What would a logical response have been to that anyhow? Plus why bring up a murdered teen in pursuing your argument? Trayvon, RIP, has nothing to do with your situation and shouldn’t even be mentioned as part of it. Another greedy example of wanting more than they got and then believing dumb threats are going to get it for them.