Someone once asked me when I was going to grow up.  I tried that once, it was no fun so I stopped doing it.

You ever utter the phrase, I can’t think straight!  How about just thinking crocked instead?

It’s not that I’m too busy to help you, it’s just I don’t care to.

I’m going to buy a motel and name it The Laid Inn or the The Inn & Out perhaps and rent the rooms by the hour.  To save money we’ll be using disposable sheets and mattresses covered in plastic.  We also won’t be offering blankets; customers will not need them, but they will have plenty of free tissues and paper towels.  Also for ease of cleanup, the floors and walls will be covered in tile with a drain in the middle of the room.  The ceiling will of course have mirrors.  A garden hose will also be available to help clean the room and customers.  There will also be vending machines available to provide for certain needs.

We’ll also be offering 2 minute specials where we will provide a closet with a love seat in it since it’s appropriately named where he can bend her over it.  Plus we’ll guarantee a daily black light inspection of each room, don’t want to get a rep for running a dirty establishment, we want it to be classy and elegant.

They stare at the stars flowing out endlessly into the future, what mysteries do they hold?

Lately everything seems like baby steps for me, I need to do some adult steps instead and get on with it.  Maybe I should consider this in my Cabin In The Woods, if I had one.

Is the plumber trying to say something?

If I an’t wearing part of my last meal on my shirt, then my day isn’t yet complete.

Post #925

I’m going thru one of those periods where I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed and hide from my reality, a bit counter-productive if you ask me.  I’m even questioning the usefulness of writing this blog and my desire for a Cabin In The Woods.

If I possess knowledge of a routine that helps me manage my daily life and then once it becomes obsolete, soon after that I will subconsciously make it irreverent in my mind and have forgotten it.

Don’t get so caught up in your rhetoric that you don’t see the beauty all around you.

I’m running a different race than everyone else, aka my own race.

Was it a life well lead probably not, so let’s keep it simple, since I’m that stupid?

I don’t have enough information on the situation to make an informed opinion.  But then when has that ever stopped others from doing so?

He never sought this out, that’s what makes him perfect for it.

If you can see and understand your flaws, perhaps you can fix them.

I use to work every Monday morning with another EMT and paramedic and we not only worked together for a while but also very well with each other.  The other EMT didn’t like to do the driving or radio work, so on BLS calls she would do all the patient care while I took care of the rest.  This system worked well for us, I think our fastest call was 22 minutes from dispatch to scene/hospital and then back in service.  One time she was complaining that our recent calls weren’t interesting.  Be careful what you ask for, the next patient threw up on her so I inquired if that was interesting enough for her?

The paramedic we worked with often wasn’t at the station and would respond from home if we needed her.  One morning she comes in to check the equipment and states she’s mad at me and the other EMT.  So we asked her what was wrong?  She said the night before she dreamt that we got a call that required her and as she approached the station I got in one ambulance and went one way and the other EMT got in the second and went in another direction.  She then had to get in the third ambulance and decide which one of us too chase after.  We reminded her that it was a dream and we didn’t actually do any of that and the other EMT didn’t drive.  We were also wondering where the third rig came from since this service only owned 2.  She had no answer for that, but she still insisted she was mad with us, crazy, right?

You push the envelope of reasonability just so you can maintain the illusion that you have power.

Religious beliefs that exclude all others are a bad idea, to live with your fellow man; you need an open heart and mind.

Life is not really a problem as much as it’s an annoyance.

My blog is a journey of discovery for me leading to my Cabin In The Woods.  Maybe someday someone else will discover it to.

Last Sunday I made the mistake of going to the deli counter to get some lunch meat for the flowing week.  They were extremely busy and the line was long.  Of course there was one lady who wasn’t happy that she had to wait and was very vocal about it.  I don’t think she would have been happy even if they had her order ready before she even arrived.  Thus is the agony of the perceived self-important.

They have a pretty face, I just wish there was something going on between their ears.  I’d prefer an ability to have an intelligent conversation also.

I love speaking from a position of ignorance to just impress people.

On one particular camping trip I had the van all loaded up and still had a bag of garbage to dispose of.  Reluctant to put it in the car, I placed it on the roof of the van with the idea of putting it in the dumpster on the way out of camp.  Well at least that was the idea.  When I got home I realized I never actually did this and it was no longer on the roof.  So somewhere in the 150 miles between the camp and my house it fell off, oops.

I texted out the joke; how do trees access the internet?  They log in of course.  To which I got the following response, “And get the dirt on everyone before they leaf”, not sure who wins that one.  So keeping the thread going I sent back, what do you call an owl whose wings are on fire?  Hooters because they have hot wings!  The only response I got to that was baaaaad!

I’m lying in my dark Cabin In the Woods because no one cares, or because no one can.

You need to relax and stop thinking everything is going to go your way, because it isn’t.

Someone asked me when does season 7 start, I don’t know.  They then wondered out loud when season 6 ended, I can’t remember, I’m just a fountain of knowledge.

I sent my resume to an “expert” for their opinion.  They said it shows I’m a doer and not an achiever, well duh…

Big or small, everyone has an agenda.  I don’t understand why that reality surprises so many people.  We all want something, sometimes good, often bad, but it’s all the same.  I was donating cloths and someone told me I should claim them on my taxes.  Their agenda was the tax credit; mine was just to donate to someone who could use them, neither bad, but clearly an agenda.

If you’re all talk and no walk, why should anyone bother with you?

I’m looking out of my kitchen window at my neighbor’s laundry hanging on the line.  Yes it’s has always been a dream of mine to see her granny panties flapping away, not!

Post #900

Do I need an editor for this blog, probably won’t hurt.  But since no one reads it in the first place, who would I ask?

Though out history supposed men of the cloth have taken their views to the extreme and great harm has occurred as a result.

I use to take stuff seriously, then I found that to be counterproductive.

I remember when I was a child being concerned over who was going to take care of me.  As an adult, I now understand only I can do it.

We’re at the point in society where the rich and powerful can say anything and yet the minions will still have their back.  Maybe the minions should stop doing so and really try to do something on their own.

You placed yourself at the center of the storm, what did you think would happen?

My life is a wonton mess and I believe I like it that way.

You really need to expand your outlook on life and not be so narrow in your thinking.  You’re really missing out.

What it was is what it no longer is, so let’s believe in what?  For no buddy cares, because there’s no buddy’s there and I did it and I’ll do it again!

In the Game of Thrones everyone pledges allegiance to this house or that.  So I’ve decide to start my own house.  The House Cranky Muze, should my banner be a Cabin In The Woods?  Perhaps, or maybe I should come up with something else?  Then I can form alliances with other houses and maybe I can talk them into downsizing from their castles to log cabins, less upkeep. My royal blood also maybe lacking like that character Little Finger, so maybe I should have the nickname of Middle Finger?

I don’t know if I’m good, bad or just indifferent.

I find perfection silly, boring and unimaginative.  I prefer screw ups instead, keeps things interesting.

In college my final major was history, being that, I took some classes on African history.  The main reason for this was the professor.  When he was discussing parts of Africa it was not from a text book, but rather from personal experience.  When we discussed the history of Timbuctoo, he had been there and had a slideshow.  It was the same on the other topics he discussed and I found it extremely interesting.

One story he told was how he hitched hiked across the Sahara desert after completing some research.  He had enough money to fly out of Morocco back to England but not enough to pay for the transport across the Sahara to get there. So he hitched rides on fig trucks in the 100+ degree heat.  He said what amazed him most about this was when they would hit an oasis the drivers would stop and build a fire to heat up water for tea.  He said he likes tea like any Englishman, but not that much.

I’m planning on starting a sausage company and naming it “Butendieck’s Little Sausages”.

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My favorite part is the lady crawling over the injured person.

Life is a process; hopefully you don’t spoil during it.

Life is a 360 degree view, if you only pay attention to what’s in front of you, you’ll miss out on the rest of it.

Were all selfish azzholes sometimes trying to do the right thing.

Why would anyone ever think that berating a love one is going to improve their relationship any?  Compassion is better than control.

It should be taken from within, but what if you’re without?

If you mate a rabbit with a teddy bear you’ll get a Harry Truman.

Sometimes you just need to embrace your inner hermit.

Back when I found it necessary to relay on my Yugo to get me to and from work it had a stroke and died; what a surprise.  So a friend of mine at the time was in grad school and wasn’t using their car so they loaned it to me while I worked on replacing my prior transit unit.

On my return home from work one night I merged from Rt. 84 to the Taconic and on this occasion I hit a large pot hole.  Upon getting home I realized that I had lost a hub cap to that hole.  Wanting to return the car the way I got it I stopped at that spot the next day.  When I went down the hill to retrieve the hub cap it quickly became apparent that this pot hole had been building up quite a collection for there were dozens of them down there.  That’s when I realized I didn’t know what was on the car I was driving or even what the hub caps looked like.  It wasn’t upon returning to the car that I realized that the three remaining ones on the car didn’t even match either, problem solved.  So I went back and retrieved 2 hub caps of the right size; putting one on the car and the other in the trunk as an extra.  I avoided that hole in the future so as not to lose anymore hub caps for it took weeks for the State to fill in that pot hole.  I should have gone back and collected all those hub caps and open a store, why should the pot holes collection have gone to waste.

I’m great at lying in bed and dreaming about doing it, but the problem lies in actually doing it.

Went out to lunch the other day and there was a young couple eating nearby.  It got kind of funny when the check arrived.  He was asking her to put it on her debit card and he’d give her cash and vice versa.  I don’t think this was a date, but rather just getting together, however, they should have worked out payment of the bill in advance.  Turns out neither had enough money on their respective debit cards to cover the bill.  Guess it’s time to wash some dish’s, I was half tempted to pay the bill for them.  Eventually they scraped together enough money to pay and were on their way.

Post #875

Life is an unspecified reason.

I’m not as stupid as you smell, so put on some deodorant and smarten up!

I have standards; however they rarely coincide with my employers.  So thus is the story of my work life.

I once used the phrase “My Depression” in a post.  I guess it’s mine, since I don’t see anyone else claiming ownership.  If they were, that would just be weird.

For the Love of Money, it’ll get you in trouble every time.

Is my Cabin In The Woods real?  In my mind’s eye it exists and I go there often.  However it’s only a delusion in my reality, but it keeps me going.

They wanted to know if I was having bad thoughts, h*ll no, I’ve rationalized them away long ago.

I remember when my backyard was full of the sounds of children’s joy and cluttered with their toys.  It was the center of their universe.  Now it’s silent and full of weeds.

I don’t know you or your reality, so I can’t be bothered to care that much.

I’m in possession of key ideas and yet again in no position to do anything with them.

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth; doesn’t the taste of your stupid make her gag?

When will you learn the concept of inner peace or will you always be an azzhole?

Just because you can get whatever you want, doesn’t mean you can always get what you need.

As I lay in bed at the hotel a thought keeps running thru my head, he leads a lonely life, perhaps it’s true.

When one is starving for human interaction, lifestyle preferences can get in the way of getting it.  Loosen up and try life for a while, maybe it’ll help?

Humanity has had many a tragic characters though out its history, none more so tragic than humanity itself.

Most people are wrong most of the time, few people are right all the time.

Simple tasks are made complicated by people who don’t think it thru.

One of my children gave me a robe for Christmas.  It wasn’t out of love as much as it was a desire not to see my butt as it progressed from the bathroom up the stairs to my bedroom.

Back when schools still had shop class, mine was making this duck thing that held spindles of thread.  I was assigned the task of operating the drill press to make the holes.  We were learning the production line technique and I guess I had the IQ high enough to drill holes.  This greatly upset the more popular kids aka bullies who thought their IQ was higher and they should be drilling those holes.  There were a lot of threats to my person if I didn’t give up the task.  But being a stubborn German and having 5 older brothers, I didn’t relent since the bullies had no power anyhow.  So with glee I drilled away.  Our final product was very ugly, but despite this my mother kept it for years.

Everything has restrictions, if you don’t understand that you’re fooling yourself.

We do the best we can with our off spring and what they do with what they were provided is up to them.

A cashier scans the customers 15% coupon and the customer doubts it’s correct. So the cashier does the math on a calculator and gets the same answer.  Of course customer still disagrees with the cashier and asks for a manager.  So the manager arrives and also comes up with the same answer, so finally the customer accepts it, but…  On their way out they make a comment to the manager that the cashier should know how to do their job better.  So a computer and two people all give them the same answer and yet they were still believe their correct in their ass(u)mptions?   Must be nice to always be right and know it.

I know you have the facts and are right, but let me explain to you why you’re wrong.  Today’s attitude unfortunately.

Post #850

It’s not my place to point out your stupidity, but since you’re already here…

Went to a wedding reception once where the best thing served was the bread.  I don’t know what that sauce was, but I’ve never had chicken so unpalatable.  One of my siblings who has run many a restaurant went up to the caterer and told them they ripped the bride and groom off by calling that food.  Heck a dog would turn its nose up to this chicken.

Stop being a company man, since you’re only a means to an end and when it ends, so will your usefulness.  Expect to be disappointed.

I was in a dinner the other day and they unfortunately sat me in a booth next to a college student who was whining about her life and a particular professor at school.  She turned in 7/10 of a project and felt that would be enough.  She was all put out when the professor gave her an incomplete.  Her attitude was, how dare they, I did a lot of work on that.  How about actually doing the complete project next time?  It’s easy to be incomplete in life, so do the whole thing.

Did you ever wonder if the beginning of the end is just another beginning?

I was in upstate New York recently and it was a bit chilly.  One morning it was -3 outside and snowing, not a real surprise for a winter day there.  I had booked my hotel for the weekend thru a website and when I got home they asked me to do a review.  So I made a comment about the fine weather and that the eggs served in the morning were somehow water down.  Then it asked for my favorite attraction there, so I selected “beach”.   Sounds about right?

It’s good to build character in your children.  My character is already built; I don’t need to suffer thru it anymore.  But boy what characters did I build in my children!

I was driving in the left hand lane passing slower cars on a trip.  I was doing 60 in a 50 mph zone when I notice a car aggressively approach in my rear view mirror and settle into my tail pipe.  An instant Dick Alert went off in my head.  As I passed the last car I was about to change lanes, but apparently not fast enough for the idiot behind me.  Before I could proceed, they started to flash their high beams, bad idea.  I’m sorry, but you don’t own the road and guess what, I’m now not changing lanes.  So they had to change lanes behind me via the right lane and then cut in front of me.  After bending them to my will, only then did I change lanes.  As I said, Dick Alert!

Person Calls Niagara Falls Police, Ask Them To Stop The Wind From Blowing.  Listen To How The Call Is Dispatched.

It’s the one you under estimate that gets you.

I was visiting an old friend from high school the other day when she asked to take a selfie.  It occurred to me after it was done that this was probably the first time I had ever poised for one.  But being the owner of a dumb phone, I haven’t taken any myself.

Ever wonder what has happened to the people who mistreated you in the past and what personal h*ll their life must be now?  Not that I’m wishing them misfortune, but then…

I was attending a gun show and walking around looking at what I had no money to afford when I spied what appeared to be a folded $100 on the floor, which I scooped up quickly and went on my now merry way.  Now believing I had $100 I wandered around thinking of what I might be able to get, at least until I unfolded it.  It was of course a fake and had an ad on it back.  So I had fallen for someone marketing ploy.  It really sucked!

Was I not clear about not caring?

When it comes to backing up vehicles I have lousy depth perception and always stop to soon, which is actually a good thing.  One ambulance I use to drive had a light bar mounted in the middle of the back of the box.  As I backed into a hospital I didn’t see the column that was dead center of the box and when I got out I was inches from crushing that light bar.  This situation is why I don’t mind this flaw in me at all.

Life is full of blind corners, you’ll just have to hope what’s around them is good.

Took my car in for a $40 oil change, it cost me over $800, I had a few leaks.  You don’t really need fluid in the power steering or transmission right?  Steering should be a work out anyhow.