You’re not superior to me and I’m not superior to you.  Yet we are all superior in our beliefs of superiority over others.

Yes I know you’re the only one that does any work here and all your co-workers are just sitting around picking their noises and strumming on their ukuleles.  So thank you, how would we possibility accomplish anything without you gracing our presence on a daily basis?

You should do whatever works for you to cope as long as long as it isn’t destructive to you or your love ones.  I cope with my dream of a Cabin In The Woods, that’s my happy place.

I’m a would be Big Fish in search of a small pond.

Post #1400

I dreamt that I was working at a nursing home caring for my mother in law when my mother in law came in to visit herself.  What possible meaning is in that?  Just very strange.

Recently had to purchase a new to me car for my oldest, it was unplanned expense.  You put 190,000 on a 20 year old car and it just dies; no quality these days.  Anyhow, they were complaining that it smelled like cigarette smoke.  So to cure that, I got them a bottle of New Car smell, problem solved.  They chose to disagree.

I know what I’m trying to say, but my mouth is not cooperating with the brain.

You’re a person of many a “word”.

If it’s your desire to impress your boss with your usefulness and flexibility, you might also want to try for reliability also.  For if you leave them hanging when their depending on you, you might find yourself without a job.

When my Dad was younger he trained for boxing.  So growing up we had a set of boxing gloves lying around.  Occasionally when we really pissed him off we would get offered personal boxing lessons.

I have to live with my decisions, I wish I was one of those who can go on with their life with little after thought for their actions, unfortunately I can’t.

Can you starve near enough to death to see it?

You’re all theoretical, while they just get to it.

The only problem I had with my recent camping trip is that it didn’t go far enough into the woods to get off the grid.  This location had cell service.  I wanted to be out of touch with my reality and it followed me there, a total bummer.  It’s for certain that my Cabin In The Woods will be off the grid.

When you buy some land for the view and then build on it that doesn’t automatically mean you now also own that view.  For something could come along to cause you to loose said view in the future and you then don’t get to take your fantasy further in pretending you actually bought it.  You didn’t, you just got to take advantage of it until you no longer could

Respect is a two way street; if you’re not giving it, then don’t expect to receive it.

Dad, you didn’t make the powdered milk last night”, cried out the children.  “Yes I did”, was the answer.  Children’s response: “Then why is it warm!”  A childhood memory.

Golf is a game of strokes, too many of those and you’ll have one.

Back when I use to chase deer around the woods aimlessly we had a running joke.  If you hear one shot, then the hunter got the deer, a second shot and their finishing the animal off.  If a third shot rang out, that meant the first two missed and now they were wasting ammo in frustration.

I’m always here, except for those times when I’m not.

In my day I’ve occupied many an outhouse without much thought, for their purpose is clear, why complain about them.  However back in the 70’s I was traveling thru Ohio on an expressway when we stopped for the call of nature.  Now I was a bit surprised to find the state were still using outhouses at their rest stops (but then they do have a large O in their name) and I had one issue with it.  There was a steady breeze blowing up into the hOle while I was seated which I found very disconcerting.

Of course there is always the joy of using an outhouse in the winter.  I’d try to just hover over the hole out of a fear my butt might freeze to the seat.  Ah, a trip down memory lane.

Someone was calling in to set up an appointment to get their sperm tested.  They weren’t too happy to get a female on the phone so they asked to be transferred to a male representative.  Apparently women are unaware of how a male jacks off, did you know that?  Anyhow the rep they got were peppered with many an inappropriate question on how the specimen needed to be collected and with whom?  Their co-workers were well aware of the call and the discomfort they were having with it, asked them when the call was over if they were going to meet with the patient to give them a hand job, sighting it would be providing excellent customer service.  They didn’t laugh.

I spend too much money on replacing mirrors, for every time I look into one…

I don’t play games, for I’m serious about what I’m doing.  Yeah right!

There are always those amongst us that can’t or won’t live within what is considered social norms.  Question is what to do with them?  I say leave me be, for the variety in life is the spice of it.  You should learn to handle diversity, its fun!  Buy me a Cabin In The Woods and then you won’t have to deal with me.

Too many chiefs gives this indian a headache, so that’s why I’m ignoring you.

Apparently in the process of dog grooming, when their drying its hair the dog is placed in a box contraption to do so.  Now the issue comes up when you forget the dog is in there.  I had a client do that and cooked the dog just long enough to give it second degree burns.  So my employer now had some medical bills to pay and the customer was looking for a new insurance carrier.  I guess the owner ordered a trim, wash and a slightly toasted special and just didn’t know it.  I wonder if it was a wiener dog?

I intend to live as long as I do, then die.

Post #1375

Your story wasn’t that interesting the first time around.  So no, I don’t want to hear it again from a different perspective.

I was working on an assigned project at work that required me to use a specific book.  Occasionally others need this book and will call out for it.  One person got all bent out of shape that I had it and that it wasn’t in its proper place. (According to them)  When I advised I was actually working on it, they ignored that info and went into the boss to complain?  That was a bad idea on their part, for being a bully isn’t going to work with me.  So instead of me getting in trouble liked they planned, it back fired on them.  But then their co-workers already knew what a pain is the arsh they are, I just suspected it.

It’s a pointless protest, but I’m having fun just the same.  Maybe it’ll annoy them just a little.

I plan to go above and beyond the minimal point necessary to get me there.

I use to know a person that worked in arbitration with unions.  In one case a female filed a complaint accusing a male co-worker of whipping out his member and showing it to her in his hand (making a jester I suppose) during working hours at Airborne Express, remember them?  It was an unrequested viewing and she decided to hand the job off to the union.  At the hearing to determine what would be done, the male stated for the record, “My member is too small to fit into my hand for her to actually see it”.  Needless to say his nonchalance in this hearing cost him his job.  It certainly didn’t get him one.

If stupid is better, then yes this is better.  A political opinion perhaps.

After I graduated from high school I worked the summer at a nursing home as the chief butt wiper and diaper changer.  Perhaps that’s why I get that duty or doodey with my mother in law now, I have experience.  Anyhow there was one patient there that I just loved.  His name was Frank and he had been a professional boxer.  Not surprisingly he had Parkinson’s.  Besides that issue he did have a lot of stories to share about his life and if you asked him if he was a boxer, his answer was always; “yes, I boxed oranges”.

A few years later I returned to that facility as an Ombudsman with a small hope that Frank was still there, unfortunately he had moved on to that ring in the sky by then.  You know how you meet people along your life’s travel that have an influence; I count Frank in that group.

Out of my way or I’m going to, perhaps, maybe, run right pass you.

My Dad once purchased a used Nova that was painted kinda like the local police cars and had a CB antenna on the trunk.  It gave out the wrong impression to the public, so we would often get flipped off or people would try not to react suspiciously when we were nearby.  This department did drive K Cars at the time, but I guess people couldn’t tell the difference.

The car had another unique aspect, its frame was crooked and drove down the road kind of sideways and if I had a nickel for every time someone flagged us down to tell us that, we might have actually fixed it.  Thou it did drive fine despite this issue.  Now also being a quality Chevy product, when the car sat through a rainy or damp night, it was guaranteed not to start the next morning because its carburetor was crap and all attempts to correct this issue never worked.

Finally we decided to just junk it and replace it with something more reliable. Then to my surprise one day while backing an ambulance into a bay, that Nova pulled into the parking lot with someone looking for help.  They had resurrected it from the junk yard and put it back on the road, go figure.  One person’s junker is someone else’s sort of reliable transport.

Like most people, I dislike being stuck in traffic jams when the only reason is because there is a large volume of cars on the road.  I’d like there to at least be a reason for the jam other than that.  Like the time a poorly maintained pickup lost a rear wheel and spun into other cars after its tire parted way.  Then I spotted the missing tire a few hundred yards down the road.  At least in the end there was something to laugh about.  Of course when I leave every day either to or from work, it is a volume traffic jam, just another reason for my Cabin In The Woods, not an issue there.

The only real issue I have with my children’s youth group is with the yearly influx of new children.  The thing is when they start out in the program, their all shorter than me.  But as the years progress most of them become taller than me.  Not that I set much of a high mark to pass (5 7), but still, it’s depressing.

Life’s a game and I don’t play by excuses or blame the others rules.

It’s clear you’re not the hero type, for in a pressure situation; you’re out for your self-preservation only, and to d*m with the rest of us.  Thou you will freeze from indecision anyhow, so you’re doomed.

With life we all developed different levels of experience.  That being said, don’t ass(u)me I don’t know something when in fact I know it better than you.  Something to consider in you dealings with people, I try to figure out a person before I make a determination of their abilities.

I’m always in the past, just can’t be bothered with the present.

You think that by doing things your way, instead of the correct way, you’re doing us a favor.  Not so much, especially if it creates more work for the rest of us.  Sometimes there are good reason for following procedure, for the process has already been worked out.  Besides it was tried your way before, turned out poorly for all those involved.

People tend to fall into three psychological types, all differently motivated.  There is the type, motivated by economic factors, money…and there is the type motivated by “face” or pride.  This type is a spender, fighter, boaster, lover, sportsman, gambler; he has a will to power and an itch for glory.  And there is the professional type, which claims to follow a code of ethics rather than simply seeking money or glory – priests and ministers, teachers, scientists, medical men, some artists and writers.  The idea is that such a man believes that he is devoting his life to some purpose more important than his individual self.  By: Robert A Heinlein, Space Cadet, 1948.

I would say that I need glasses, but I’m already wearing them, so now what’s my excuse?

I wasn’t great at it, but I was functional and it got done.

In college I lived in the Mackin Complex and it was more than a reality, it was a state of mind.

Eclipse

Just because you’re covered, doesn’t mean you’re covered completely.  For even the best of roofs can have holes in them.

I have no patience and I lack understanding with phone systems.  Plus they don’t really regret keeping me waiting.  And no, I don’t believe you when you tell me you recently changed your prompts, I think you just want to suck me further into oblivion!

I don’t do everything, always, but sometimes maybe.

Post #1350

I need to hire a plumber to fix my outhouse.  The crap is really piling up in there.  The Joys of a Cabin In The Woods.

It obvious you’re an idiot; however that doesn’t mean I’m entitled to express an opinion about it.  You’d ignore it anyhow, that’s how it works.

I mentioned to a coworker that I was spending $1200 getting something fixed on my van.  His reply, “I could have gotten it done for you for half that amount.”  Interesting statement since I didn’t say what work I was actually doing on the car and why did he ass(u)me I wasn’t already getting it for half the price?  Prior to making that kind of statement, a little info might be advisable before you make an offer to get it cheaper.  Plus sometimes, cheaper an’t always better, you can get what you pay for in too many ways that aren’t necessary in your favor.

There are plenty of hours in the day to get nothing done at my Cabin In The Woods.

Once while camping with my family I was walking down a road toward one of my siblings and their ex-spouse when a bear came out onto the road behind them.  Before I could utter b b b bear behind you, it went b b b back into the woods.  It was a brief encounter.

Their smell cleared the room out like a skunk letting it loose in an outhouse.

I have to hold everyone to a different standard than myself, why?, why not. 😉

Video

If you’re going to give your child the first name of Unique, you should at least spell it UNeekly.

I’m all about conservation of energy, therefore, sleeping fits right into the scheme.

“Were all adults here” is an interesting phrase.  For some of us adults take responsibility for their actions, while the rest of the adults don’t.  If you did it, own it, don’t try and put blame elsewhere.

I just say silly stupid things; I don’t actually do them, that’s an important distinction.

My child was showing me their schedule for their first college semester on the laptop.  It got me to thinking about when I was signing up for classes; I was in an actual line as opposed to online.  You would wait your turn in the hope to get a punch card for the classes you wanted to get in, in a big auditorium with thousands of your fellow classmates.  The only terminals you were looking at were the people freaking out when they didn’t get the classes they wanted.  It wasn’t until my last semester there that the school finally retired the punch cards for a more modern computer system and even then someone else worked the computer.

I guess they’re trying, cause I sure the h*ll an’t.

When I was wrapping up college, I needed three classes to complete my degree, but I needed a fourth one to get assistance so I decided to take Modern Marriage.  I guess people were in the habit of skipping this class for the professor had a rule, three absents and you automatically failed.  So being I didn’t need this class to graduate and I had classes that I had to pass, I failed, but I must have learned something thou since I’ve been with my spouse for almost 31 years.

After I graduated and left the college I got a letter from them that I was on academic warning for the next semester.  I guess they hadn’t computerized that process yet.

They can make it look pretty; I’ll just make it functional.

Ever get the feeling that the more stuff you have, the less whole you feel?  It’s like you need something more that things just don’t help with.  Problem is figuring out what it is you really need.

It’s in the same place it always isn’t.

People post beware of dog signs to scare people off.  If I were to post one for my dog it would be, “Be Mindful Of Dog”, for she might lick you to death.  But if you’re a squirrel, run for the hills.

I have a co-worker who’s a little insecure.  They were asking a fellow employee if people were talking about them.  Even thou I was not asked, I interjected “always”.  That should help to ease their concerns.

When my grandfather moved in with us the doctor suggested we give him a beer a day for his health.  So we bought him a small fridge and left the beer in it.  Well his reasoning with beer apparently was that of, if the doctor says one a day is good for me, then six would be even better.  When it became quickly apparent to my parents that grandpa had a buzz going all the time, they removed the beer from his fridge.  Undeterred my grandfather then turned to bribing the neighbors to go buy him more beer.  Once he received it, he would then hide it in the small wooded area behind our house.  He soon discovered that me and my siblings would then go retrieve it and sometimes give it to my parents.  Happy he was not, plus he lost access to money in which to pay the neighbors.

He also smoked cigars and pipes, cigars being his favorite, but not my mothers.  She allowed pipe smoking in the house, but he had to go outside to smoke his cigars.  In an attempt to get around this embargo, he crushed up some of his cigars and put them in his pipe to smoke, thinking my mother wouldn’t notice.  That lasted about 2 seconds before my mother was yelling at him that she could easily tell the difference.

He also quickly learned that now living with a family of 12, that if he didn’t get his portion of the food when it passed him by, there would be no opportunity for it later.  Left overs didn’t occur at my childhood home.  So he took to hiding food in his room and then forgetting about it.  Every once and a while my mother had to clean it out.  So if he ever offered us something to eat from his room, we were immediately suspect of it for god knows how old it might be.

He also had a hard time to adjusting to living under someone else’s roof.  For he was used to being in charge.  He would try to give us orders with little success.  On occasion he would raise his cane to try to enforce his orders and we would just grab it and there was little he could do.  Also my father wasn’t to incline to allow him any authority anyhow now that was living under his roof.

Water was fine until flavors were invented.

There’s this idea of going to bat for your cause with conviction and then there’s those just being an idiot about it.

I’m not saying that I don’t have a clue, but rather that I’m learning.

One of our locations had an Xtreme emergency the other day.  They requested I send them toilet paper STAT since they we down to their last two rolls.  I assured them they’d get it in the end.

Post #1325

You’re going to miss me when I’m not gone.

When you ass(u)me you did something when you didn’t, that doesn’t now mean you get to yell at people who didn’t follow your ass(u)mptions and were actually doing it the correct way.  So stop insisting your ass(u)mptions were correct and learn the actual reality to your situation.  My Cabin In The Woods pleaze!!

The only mistake I made was trying to help an unreasonable person reasonably.

I try not to be prejudice against minorities (not always successful).  But the one group I’m differently prejudice against is; idiots.  It doesn’t matter your ethnic/social/economic background.  They all produce idiots, it’s them I avoid.

I’d have to have hit the water before you can think of me as washed up.

I’ve been searching for that magic bullet that would solve all my issues, still looking.  After all it falls under that “if only” theory.  If only “this happens” or “that”, only then will things get better.  Perhaps move on from the “if only” and to the “just get to it”.

Story

Another Take

UPDATE 3/30/18

I was clarifying a name with a person and they responded, my first name has four letters and my last name has four letters, so I muted them and said out loud, I can think of a four letter word for you.  I heard a lot of chuckles from my coworkers.

Trying to bully and push people around to get your way is a bad strategy, especially when you’re in a dependent situation.  You need these people and pissing them off is going to have an undesired effect and get you less.  They’ll soon lose any desire to help you and will avoid you all together.  They might even arrange to ship you to a Cabin In The Woods to be all alone in your misery.

One night I was sound asleep in my apartment when I was awaken by a loud bang.  When I peered out the window I could see that a car had hit the pole across the street.  Being a former EMT I went out to check on the injured.  Turns out the injured individual was snoring.  He had passed out and his car drifted into the pole.  His only injury was his front teeth, other than that he had no other injuries.  So I turned the car off and waited for EMS to arrive and then went back to bed.

You’re a drunken fool.  I’m a sober one and…

When you make it clear that you don’t care for those you’re caring for, then I see no reason why I should care either.  I’m all for good service, but it has to be both ways.  Also when it’s shown that you misspelled a technical term; that makes it uncertain as to your intention of care, your attitude is no longer justified.  So let me be clear, I’m not going to ass(u)me on your behalf and then be left holding the bag.  It’s too important that you’re not be ambiguous about what you want and listen to the questions you’re asked.

Can’t refund on your ass(u)mption, unfortunately my decisions have to be based on reality.  I understand perfectly that your delusions won’t allow you to accept the decision, but that’s not going to result in our change of heart, for my heart has nothing to do with it,  it’s based in the written contract.

Does it relieve your frustration to keep saying the same thing over and over again when the person on the other end of the line was not involved in the original situation?  Rather they are actually trying to correct it and are rapidly developing the opinion that you’re an idiot, even if you’re not.  Whining isn’t going to fix anything.

What does the truth have to do with public discourse anymore?

Why is it that people who walk for exercise always seem to park as close to the trail head as possible.  Why not the farthest away, they’d get more exercise.

Who coach’s a life coach?  Why does their opinion even matter, who decides they have a clue?  You know coaches can make bad decisions to.

All you know of them is what you’ve heard them say over the phone.  Based on that you immediately jumped aboard the ass(u)mption train without any further consideration of the person.

They really expected to be forgotten and were quite surprised when they weren’t.

On one November tent camping trip the outside temp dropped into the 20’s when the sun set.  Apparently one of the adult leaders wasn’t very well prepared for this.  For around 4am they got into their car and started it up.  It wasn’t a quite car, woke the whole camp.  They wondered how I survived and didn’t freeze that night, easy, I had a heater for my tent, not my first time doing this.

I once went on an inner tube race with an ambulance service I volunteered at.  We would get old truck inner tubes, over inflate them, tie them together and then float down the river with dozens of other teams.  One year there was a Naval frigate docked at a nearby harbor.  The officers on it apparently decided to participate in this event.  On their way down the river, their Captain fell over board and was rescued by one of our teams.  I bet they never lived that down.  He commanded a frigate, but couldn’t handle inner tubes tired together.

This was a fun event; that was until some drunks hopped into the river alone and proceeded to drown their impaired butts.  Because of this the local fire department that sponsored the event as a fund raiser was forced to cancel it in the future, since of course they were sued and no insurance carrier would now insure them.  Leave it to an idiot to ruin the fun for everyone else.  Not that my group was exactly sober, but we stuck together.  Being the dam was opened for this event, the water was very rough, thus increasing the fun.

It’s fun to watch someone whose actions are counter-productive to their ultimate goal.  The best part is they don’t know it and then watching their growing frustrations.  It’s like someone swerving in and out of traffic during rush hour.  Their making more progress going sideways than forward.