I have to go to the bathroom now because I’m old and leaky and my latrine at my Cabin In The Woods is just too far away.

Those who wait, get it later.

They think they’re the back bone of the company when they’re really just the anus of it.

They announced that their “already irritated” so everybody stop what you’re doing and commiserate with them immediately, or not, if you choose to.

It’s a matter of conviction to the situation, according to the judge.

I’m committed or perhaps should be.

Your opinion of me matters naught, as my opinion of you should also matter naught.

I’m sitting under a bridge and I can hear the world pass me by from above and I’m good with that.

Post #1925

If your belief system consists of believing in a higher being that will forgive you for all your transgressions and sins, only, if you believe and worship in them, that’s just fine.  But still, that doesn’t give you license to be a dick to others with other belief systems.  How about just being a good person instead, with no need or expectations of forgiveness.

You can’t believe everything you read, or read everything you believe.

I saw a sign for “Southern Fried Nuts”, which sounds like a personal problem to me.

You want to join a winning team?  Keep looking.

Motel 6, we’ll leave the lights on since the switch is broken.

Stop preparing for it, rather act on impulse.

The spouse and I are not cooks, period.  Between us we can make about 5 dishes, sort of.  It’s no wonder that our three children like to cook, they have come to realize there is more to food than what we offered them as children.  It’s not that people didn’t try to encourage us.  When we got married, one of the gifts was a Betty Crocker cook book.  The plastic stayed on this book until about 5 years into our marriage, so I guess it didn’t work.

Recently spent some time at a friend’s retirement home in Florida and a thought occurred to me.  They are from Levittown NY, the first suburb, and now their moving to a gated community that is essentially an updated version of Levittown.  Everything looks the same since it was all planned.  I guess that works for them, me I want a Cabin In The Woods.

I am not going to stand for this anymore, so I’m going to sit down now.

What if I don’t want to hold on for a minute, but rather three?

They’re lost in thought, so their basically just lost.

I was bored so I counted the number of times I’ve used the word stupid (yet again) in this blog.  Turns out I’ve used it 102 times.  The last time I counted it was 74 times.  So I’ve increased stupid by 24%.  That’s a lot of stupid, even if it’s not a surprise.

When someone says that’s just the way it is, your answer should be, that’s just the way it was.

Instead of saying I’m fat; you can say I’m just carrying around extra me.

It wasn’t me today, thou tomorrow, perhaps.

If I wanted to waste more time, I’d watch the paint dry on a wall I painted years ago.

They carry themselves as a person with many burdens; unfortunately they’re all made up.

They’re not hard of hearing, but rather hard of listening.

There are no excuses for your actions, but I’m sure you’ll have one.

You can justify your actions anyway you want and perhaps it’ll help you sleep at night or perhaps not.

Everybody is accusing everybody else, but no one has actual proof as to the reality of the situation.

If you can’t be positive, then don’t bother.

There’s a saying “be nice to the people you meet on your way up, for you’ll be seeing them on your way down”.  Funny thou I didn’t know any of the people I know now from before?  Perhaps I never went up?

One of my coworkers likes to throw around the phrase “I love you” when speaking to people.  She once stated to me; “you love me right?”  Yeah, no, that word has meaning to me and I only use it for the ones I love.  I like her, but I feel no love for her, so the word is not forthcoming for her.

Everything feels wrong tonight, I wonder when it might feel right again.

Post #1900

I’ve got a stupid answer for your stupid question.

They have a strong belief system which is good, but unfortunately it blinds them to certain realities.

One of my siblings relayed a story of their college days when someone they knew was busted by the police for selling pot.  Turns out later the police had to drop all the charges when the testing of the pot showed they were selling random crushed up leaves instead, apparently not illegal.  I wonder just how many of their customers bragged about how stoned they got off it.  I also wonder if any of their customers came back demanding refunds?  Or were they just too embarrassed that they were had?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong.  They don’t think there’s anything wrong.  So does that mean there’s actually something right?

I ‘m always in denial, it helps with reality.

We have free will in our day to day activities, beyond that we’re stuck.

I hate people who won’t listen because they’re afraid they might have to actually do their job.

Good to never know Ya.

There is harassment, but there is also speaking the truth.  Problem is telling the difference.

You’re good at the talking, just not the doing.

Everyone is a comic, problem is thou, most of us are unemployed.

While camping this weekend I used their sophisticated bathroom (latrine).  It was a “6 holer”, with an active worm farm under it.  The best part was when one is seated on their thorn, and then someone opens the outside door, you’d get a blast of cold air up your butt, very invigorating.  But at least I was staying at a Cabin In The Woods.

We all had a dream, but yet here we are.

I don’t have a lot, but I do have some extra and I’m willing to share.

I’m not your superior; I just have more knowledge and experience than you do.

In family lore there is a story of my oldest brother not being happy with my parents having a second child.  At one point they buried the other child in their toys while they were in their bassinet.  When asked why they did that, the answer was, “so they would have toys to play with.”

Sometimes it just has to be good enough.

I was at a chain restaurant for dinner the other day when another group was seated near us and before they were even settled they had issues.  One individual in the group keep insisting they be allowed get a special that was no longer being offered because they saw it “still on the internet”, “so you have to give it to us.”  Every time the staff told them it was no longer available, they keep repeating, “it’s on the internet”, like everything on the internet is written in stone.  The staff advised them it wasn’t on their site and asked where did they see it?  So the individual showed them a website the company wasn’t affiliated with as proof.  Of course the staff declined to honor that and with a little more of “it’s on the internet” rebuttals, the group gave up and left when it became clear their scam was a bust.

My Dad was a teacher and we lived in the district he worked for.  So when we came of age to vote he instructed us to go vote yes for the school budget, period.  When asked why, he would say, you want to eat don’t you?  So we were his own voting block to run, just like a party boss of old.

A friend of mine is very religious and is convinced I’m going to hell because I’m not.  Well if that’s my destiny, I’ll bring the marshmallows and when they arrive they can bring the chocolate and graham crackers.

I wasn’t looking for easier; I was looking for an answer.

The main difference between you and them is they get paid to express their opinion and then be ignored, while we freely just ignored you.

I appreciate the fact that you do half the work that they do, but then you make quarter of the mistakes they do, for they have quantity over quality, and I prefer the quality.

It takes all types to make the world go around.  However it only takes one type of crazy to make the world go down and for me to want my Cabin In The Woods.

I would if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t, got it?

Post #1875

Wow the world smells like something, which is a profound statement from someone who has no sense of smell.

It’s amazing how someone can do a competent job with very little working knowledge of what it is their employer actually does.

My life is very centered, if it was any more centered I would tip over.

They have 10 minute’s worth of work, yet they’ll take 3 hours completing it and think they have everyone fooled that they work hard.  I’ve seen glaciers move faster.

When I was in 6^th grade I got braces, so thrilled to become a “brace face”. Anyhow, during the process it was determined that I needed 8 teeth pulled.  So I wasn’t at all excited about going in multiple times to do so, so I asked to get them done all at once.  Why prolong the suffering and pain.  I was told that while coming out of anesthesia I tried to punch the nurse, thou I remember nothing of the procedure.  I also insisted on going to school the next day since I had a perfect attendance going and didn’t want to mess it up.  So the school lunch lady made soup just for me, an’t I special.  I think that was the last time I had a perfect attendance in anything.

I’m happy that you’re so vengeful, for that is such a positive use of your time.

I’m sorry I could be helpful.

If you’re going through life unprepared for anything, then I guess I can’t help you.  They’re about as unprepared as possible.

You need to understand your vision of yourself and not let someone else project a different unrealistic one onto you.

I have notice thru my years of working that bosses are always looking to fix what isn’t broken.  They can’t leave well enough alone, I guess they have to justify their existence somehow.

Their important to nothing in particular.

I’ve discovered an internet troll and it’s one of my coworkers.  I knew that after 5pm they do very little related to their job and I have always wondered what they were actually doing since I could hear them typing away.  Well the other day I happen to pass by while they were typing up one of their comments; that I’m sure no one wants to read or asked for, with their uninciteful insights.

This explains a lot about this individual, as well as makes sense. For in a real “in person” confrontation this person reacts with the stare of a deer in head lights, not knowing how to react.  It makes sense they’d be a troll where they don’t have to physically confront anyone and can hide in the shadows.

I now know for sure that I’m not hip with current events.  Lady Gaga recently won a Grammy for a song I’ve never heard.  It apparently has received a lot of air time on the radio, but I don’t listen to the radio anymore.  I have her older stuff on my iPod, but have no idea what this song sounds like.  So it’s official, I’m an old fogy.

You provide excellent services as long as there’s no pressure.  Once there is, you crumble like a paper bag and wish you had a Cabin In The Woods.

Amazing talents have come and amazing talents have gone, with mediocre being a constant.

I met someone who was desperate to find a way to insult me in any form they could.  It only shows how sad and pathetic they are.  Their self-inflated sense of superiority is why they’re so miserable, perhaps some self-reflection and looking for the good in others is in order for them.

Last summer one of my neighbors had an accident with their Hyundai and while it was being fixed, they rented a car.  When they went to pick up the rental, they only had BMW’s left.  So my neighbor was forced to drive a BMW convertible for 2 weeks in convertible weather, she was so upset.

I have a coworker who is always late to work and always has an excuse.  If they worked most any place else they would have been fired a long time ago.  Sad part is they are only responsible for themselves, so they have no real excuse being late other than they can’t get their azz moving.  Thou it has given me an idea for a book; it’ll just list all their excuses.  I should have about 100 pages in about a month and it should be an instant best seller.

I’m well organized, I know where everything isn’t.

Consistency is the key to leadership, ego driven leadership on a whim is not.

When I was living in the dorm at college one of the big events of the day was to go down to your mailbox to see if you got a letter.  I was working behind the desk at the time and this one girl would always be upset that there was nothing in her box.  So, I started to leave letters of the alphabet in her box, so she would at least receive a letter.  Apparently she loved the idea.

While growing up, my parents wouldn’t buy cereals like Frosted Flakes or Sugar Smacks.  Instead we got Cheerios or Special K.  But we had sugar to pour on them and pour I would!  I would put so much on the cereal that I’d be left with about ¼ of an inch on the bottom of the bowl, which I had no problem cleaning up.  It was the best part of the cereal!  So when I got out on my own, I would get the cereals that I didn’t have as a child, saved a ton on sugar and no more sugar crashes.

I’m sorry I take into consideration the consequences of stupid; perhaps you should do the same?

On one level I know I did it, but on another level I now doubt it and the question is which feeling do I go with?  Let’s ponder this at my imaginary Cabin In The Woods.

I have a sibling who once worked as a purchaser for a hospital.  One morning while trying to park their car at work, another driver cut them off and went into the parking spot they were headed for.  They also flipped him off.  So they parked elsewhere.  Once they reached their office guess who was waiting to see them?  Well it was a salesman we shall call Mr Bird.  That must have been a very awkward meeting.  The moral of story, don’t be you when at work, especially in sales.

I wonder if their sales manager thought this visit would be a sure sale and when it wasn’t, how the salesman went about explaining it to their boss as to what might have gone wrong?  Perhaps the fact they’re an azzhole?

Post #1850

You an’t sorry for what you did, you are thou just plain sorry.

Patting yourself on the back while taking credit for someone else’s work is pretty scummy.

Sometimes the right choice is not the popular one, but the necessary one.

I use to be afraid of ending up alone but after some thought, don’t we all?

I could take the route of blaming the world and everyone on it for my problems, but since I’m working in the realm of reality, it mostly falls on me.  That’s why I want a Cabin In The Woods.

Silence is not a solution when there are issues that need to be worked through.

Caller Thinks (Maybe): You won’t let me have my way because I’m ignorant of the reality of the situation, so I’m mad at you.

Answerer Thinks (For Certain): Let me check my crystal ball about that…  I’m good with your decision.  So please tell everyone about how bad your ignorance caused you to be so mistreated.

There are just two ways to make a decision, first is with careful deliberation, the second way is just cause I can.

My 19 year old is trying to grow a mustache and has 2 issues.  First it’s growing in very fine; second it’s also growing in very blonde, so it’s not very noticeable.  I suggested he do what one of my older brothers did who had the same problem.  Steal mascara from their sisters.  Problem with that thou, they have no sister and the wife doesn’t really use it.

Fly like an eagle and take a dump like a dog and all will be fine.

Feel free to sit here and wait for the impossible to happen, while I go out and just get on with it.

I was talking to a couple of my co-workers about how police will ask you to recite the alphabet backwards as a test to see if you’re sober.  One of them stated, “I can’t even do that sober”, perhaps not a good plan to make that kind of statement in front of the police.

I don’t want to move on up, I want to move on out.

We know what you know and that’s what we’re afraid of.

They’ll tell you how smart they are, but judging from their actions, not so much.

Just because you plan on doing something stupid, doesn’t mean I should accept it as a foregone conclusion.

They like to count their chickens before they hatch, problem is they don’t even have any eggs yet.